There aren’t many days when I find myself getting into bed and realising i haven’t written my daily blog…..
Today has been a lovely, crazy day of BBQ preparation mixed with family. 
Coffee in the sunshine with Granny and Grandpa, reading the papers and watching the boys on the freshly mown tennis court…
Super speedy shop round the supermarket with my little helper and chief trolley organiser and bag packer..
Making brownies, salads and marinades…
Turning sausages… And putting out flames engulfing the sirloin…
And when the table collapsed… Thank goodness someone saved the rosé!

  

Today didn’t disappoint… I always love graduation day for the primary school graduates… Seeing their confidence as they perform or replay their experience of the Mosaic programme.
At the last graduation the keynote speaker was hugely followed and adored ‘Honest Mum’ Vicki Psarias-Broadbent, just after I had started my journey of blogging. She was hugely inspirational to me at the time…
Today the universe striked again! The keynote speaker was Wafa Tarnowska… A refugee from Lebanon and a writer. A writer. A writer!!! I couldn’t believe it! Just as I start to get serious about writing and set the intention to focus on expanding my experience and understanding, here is an award winning, acknowledged author and speaker…. Right in front of me, swooping business cards and taking selfies!
I loved her story. A refugee, escaping war ravaged Lebanon to Australia in the 1970’s at only 19 because she wanted to study, write and learn. How she didn’t speak to her parents for 4 years as there were no phone lines in Lebanon and of course no wifi, Internet or technology. 
I loved how she became an author because her children wanted to learn the myths and stories of her home country, but she couldn’t find any books to read to them. I love how she writes about strong women and positive Arabian role models. She should write her own autobiography. It will be a best seller. 
Her words of advice to our young students rang in my ears as we left for home.
“When faced with difficulty- ask the question – what’s the lesson?….

Do what you love!! Work hard at it… But also work smart… Work with heart. (I love that)…

Be kind over clever and famous (I love that even more)… 
Be open… Be open to trying new things. And if you fail… Be resilient. Pick yourself up and go again…

And every day, ask yourself ‘How will I make it a better place?’ … Every day… 

Always be grateful! Say thank you for what you have .. And not what you don’t have… “
It’s been a really good week. A positive week. 
And as I jumped in the car to race to pick up the boys… I picked up my phone to share my happiness with Mum and Dad.
Mumbo.. 
It was the first time… The first time in the 3 months since she has been gone. Even when she was alive but didn’t really know or understand what I was saying, she would still listen…. And always say ‘that’s lovely darling’… It was comforting.  
I rang Bambi instead. I am so grateful for my little sister… X
  
 

My mood is as sunny as the county of West Yorkshire today!
At the beginning of the year I set out my vision and intention for the year. My vision board is split into 4 quadrants:
Family first (and always) – time with theBig Man, time with my boys, time as a family and with our extended family. 
My health – you can’t enjoy life without it! That includes keeping my mind healthy as well as my body with good exercise, food, meditation, Pilates…
My business – my passion! What has taught me so much, opened my mind, opened so many doors, introduced me to a whole new way of living life through attitude, belief and vision. Here I have photos of my tribe, my dreams for my business and for theirs… How many lives can I touch and change? 
And the last quadrant… This was an area I let myself imagine….. Imagine what?… Imagine what if??!! Imagine if something I loved to do as a hobby started to grow into something more.
In this quadrant I had pictures of coaching, mentoring, children, books, blogging, working from my garden writing, a big picture of vogue magazine, ‘the Ali sandwiches’ the book and the words ‘publish’ and ‘author’.
I had no idea how this quadrant would manifest throughout the year… But while cleaning my teeth this is the area I look at and ponder and have fun with…..  
And today, this week, the magic happened.
I am fulfilling a life long dream to work for a magazine! It’s not quite Vogue (yet!) but there is always a pretty lady on the front…
I have published in actual ink and print my first article in the magazine!
And…. I have been asked by two other independent sources to be a regular guest writer! One for a new website about health, mindfulness and all round ‘zen’ being…. And the other for a magazine about to hit the ground this summer for women just like me!

And the cherry on the cake?! Well I got to go out for lunch to write a food review… We sat outside by the lake, in the glorious sunshine and ate that cake!

   
   

So the ‘juggling’ is going ok… I even managed an hour’s swing ball with the boys in the sun after school today.

 

It reminded me how different they are.

 

Willy has gritty determination.  He wants to win.  You can see it in the way he holds his racket, the grimace on his face, the strong stance, the way he focusses on the ball and whacks and whacks and whacks and goes for it every time the ball comes by.    He is a little fighter, quick, gritty, determined.

 

My only way to beat him was to maim him.  Entirely by accident of course!   A hard hit of the ball that ended up on the side of his head…. Ouch.  He had beaten me 5-1.  He needed a rest anyway.

 

So then it was time for Tom.  Tom had been hitting balls against the wall, competing with himself quite happily.

 

When it comes to swingball – he is totally the opposite to Willy.  He is the joker!  Laughing, hitting the string and messing about.  If he is losing, he calls ‘time out’ and distracts me to have a few hits!  Then he collapses laughing.  He is just a joy to be around and our tummy’s hurt from laughing.      No one ever wins!

 

Unless… unless I tell him to focus.  Tell him to focus on winning, beating me…   give him an incentive of TV time.. And then his natural flair comes out.  He is an elegant tennis player (and that translates in to swing ball too!), graceful and powerful… and he beats me in a few hits.

 

I love their differences.

 

I love that their differences don’t stop them from being friends… watching them play swing ball together looks like a dance… each of their traits rubbing off on each other.  Tom laughs at willy’s competitiveness, Willy laughs back…. Willy fights to win and Tom focusses to fight back… he can’t let his little brother win.

 

I love the way that this is a pure demonstration of how two entirely different characters can enjoy each others company by blending or bending their characteristics… while still being true to themselves.

 

It’s a bit like marriage.

 

Allowing each other the space to have live by their own values, but having a common set of values to live by as a unit, a team with a common goal.

 

It was good to be reminded of that today in the sun, playing and watching a simple game.

 

If I went back to meet my 25 year old self… I wonder what she would say?

 

I wonder what she would say if I told her I worked at a magazine, in an office in a small village in Yorkshire, wrote articles on whatever I liked and helped businesses grow their brand awareness by getting them in front of the majority of home owners in the Golden Triangle in Yorkshire… that I wrote about how much I loved gardening, weeding even.

 

I think my suited and booted, serious self would laugh me out of dodge!  And tell me that I was on the fast promotion track and heading for Partner by the time I was 35.

 

I wonder what she would say if I told her that I had my own business in health and wellness, that I helped people with their personal care needs, helped people feel good on the inside and out, taught others to do the same… that my best seller was primer, mascara and vanilla protein powder… that I used more than one hair product, even used serum and eye cream.

 

I think my make-up free, eczema prone skin and mousey brown un-styled haired self would ask me if I was joking!

 

I wonder what she would say if I told her I had 2 boys, with hair the colour of the sun and eyes as blue as the sky… and that I loved looking after, being with them, showing them how much I love them, love listening to them read… found immense satisfaction in calming their tantrums, correcting their bad behaviour…. That my favourite moment in the day is lying next to them, snuffling their hair and kissing their warm, sweaty cheeks and sleeping eyes…

 

I think my career driven, position chasing, recognition craving self would ask me firstly why only 2 and not 6 and also where the nanny was?

 

I wonder what she would say if I told her I loved reading non-ficton, self help and personal development books on mindset, leadership, spirituality, mindfulness… that I had only read one fiction novel I the last 12 months and only because I had just started a new book group?

 

I think my thrill seeking, thriller reading, murder mystery page turning, at least one book a week self would not understand…. Where is the escapism in that?

 

I wonder what she would say if I told her that the radical changes in me were causing friction and tension, misunderstanding and confusion for my family and even some friends…

 

I wish my future self, my 55 year old self could come back and tell me the answer to that one.

 

So it is the typical time of the evening when I have my 10 minutes to write… I usually look inside my head to find something to write about… but today, I am too jittery (Big Day tomorrow..) … so I am looking around outside of me for inspiration.

 

Boys are ready for bed, fed, watered, washed and they are having their bed time snack and chill time.

 

And all 4 of us are looking at different screens.

 

Willy is munching on breadsticks on the floor in front of the big TV watching Kung Fu Panda through apple tv.

 

Tom is curled up next to me watching the Famous Five on YouTube on the old Mac Book.

 

James is sprawled the other side of me looking at some car website doing ‘research’ for his next car on his ipad, asking me to pass him his iphone…

 

And I am tapping away, wondering what to write on my beautiful new birthday present  – the slimline Mac Book Pro.

 

Are we the ‘Apple Family’?

 

We are living evidence of Steve Jobs’ legacy – his vision, dreams for apple, technology, multi functional devices for all ages a reality in our middle class home in a sleepy little village in Yorkshire.

I have been considering obstacles…

 

And today I have seen them in a whole new light…

 

The definition of obstacle:

 

‘a thing that blocks one’s way or prevents or hinders progress’

 

This evening… a bottle of red wine (or maybe more, I have lost count and my fingers feel numb) could hinder or prevent my progress to writing my daily blog (#365dayblogchallenge)…

 

Last night… a peacefully sleeping child across the top of the stairs all curled up with cushions and duvet could have hindered and prevented my progress to get in to bed…

 

So my obstacles are red wine and my beautiful, angelic son.  I love both.

 

Ergo I love obstacles…. Or I can love obstacles.

 

In order to write this blog, I am not going to let the enjoyment of consuming some delicious Saint Emilion get in my way of writing my daily blog.  In fact, I am going to enjoy the process of pushing through the red wine haze and how relaxed it makes me feel, despite having to delete and rewrite quite a few words due to typos.

 

I am enjoying this ‘obstacle’ and I will still make progress.

 

And last night, I gently picked up my sleeping, dead weight obstacle, loved it, kissed it, whispered to it and gently lay it down where it was meant to be.  I was calm and peaceful..

 

I enjoyed that ‘obstacle’ and I definitely made it in to bed without frustration or any sense of anger.

 

So in considering other obstacles in my life that I feel are preventing progress… I am going to apply the principles I have learnt in the last 24 hours.

 

Enjoy the process of pushing through obstacles… Enjoy the journey, let them add to the experience.

 

Love on your obstacles… Love on them so much, speak gently to them and quietly move them out of your way… and then move on, peaceful and happy.

 

I love obstacles!  What an epiphany.

 

I think that deserves another glass of red!

 

 

 

So Willy learnt to juggle this week.

 

I have watched him start with 2 balls… slowly, often dropping a ball, picking it back up and adding it into the mix;  he persevered until he got into a rhythm.

 

I have watched him add a third ball..  he started slowly, often dropping a ball, picking it back up and adding it in to the mix;  he persevered until he got into a rhythm.

 

I have watched him add a fourth ball…. He started slowly, often dropping a ball, picking it back up and adding it in to the mix;  he is continuing to persevere until he finds his rhythm.

 

What lesson am I on from learning from a child?

 

This new job that starts next week – it is my like my fourth ball to juggle.  If I drop a ball in the process, I will just pick it up and add it back in to the mix and persevere until I find my rhythm:  our family rhythm.

 

Today has revolved around coffee dating…
A short sharp shot to get me out the door in the freezing rain/ hail for a sprint circuit at 7.30am.  My commitment coffee date.
A snappy macchiato with a couple of friends over diaries to plan our biking outing. My casual, cycling planning coffee date.
A ‘coffee’ with a non coffee drinker (we had a pot of herbal tea!) to showcase my new Arbonne products … Which she loved and ordered. My catch up and creative coffee date.
A lovely, long overdue lunch with the ‘Clifton Coffee Mums’- again no coffee but hot ginger and lemon or the fabulous Filmore  and Union ‘oxygenator’! We have nearly got through our first year of being the new mums! Time flies… And is flying faster! My cathartic, soul cleansing, comforting coffee date.
A rapid ‘coffee’ date to discuss school runs and pick ups and drop offs… We were both late due to peleton TdY traffic and drank tea..  My constructive coffee date.
And finally, I think I am going to need a few espresso martinis (and Arbonne Fizz sticks with botanical caffeine  – US strength) to keep me going to the end of rugby club ball … !! My cr@zy coffee date!!!

Lists and goals, goals and lists…

They kind of go hand in hand!

My short term goal is to get to the rugby club fundraiser ball on Friday night on time, without feeling stressed and ripping my tights.  To do that my list contains actions to organise babysitter, buy multiple pairs of tights, choose a dress from the cupboard, organise taxis…

My long term goal is to lead a happy, balanced, stress free life while bringing up two well rounded, kind, brave, loving, brilliant young men and keep a marriage alive.

That list of actions is pages long.

It varies from things I need to remember to order from Ocado to booking camps, buying birthday presents and then to organising educational ‘Healthy Happy Hour’ workshops, not forgetting all topics for articles I want to write and then articles I want to read, youtube clips I want to watch, books I want to read… people I want to see.

The list goes on.

At the beginning of each morning, I usually write a sub-list for the day and then star absolute priorities.

As I sit here today, this evening…. My list looks the same as it did this morning!  Nothing ticked off ….  I wonder whether that makes it an unproductive day?  It doesn’t feel like it was unproductive…  but my list doesn’t demonstrate that.

Oh yes – I can tick off ‘blog’!  (How satisfying….)

Time to tick off the next one…. Except I have to get Tom from Beavers, Willy to bed… and I totally forgot to get something for our supper!  It wasn’t on my list.

Bugger.

I’ll use the same list tomorrow!