There comes a time when sometimes, you have to let something go, to allow space for something else, either different or better. Or sometimes you just need to let it go, to give breathing space for the light to enter.
A seed was planted in my mind in a quiet moment today. That it was time to let go of the daily aspect of the journey of the Ali Sandwiches. Initially, I dismissed it. That was the ‘beauty’ and purpose of this blog; that set it apart from many others. It’s USP so to speak.
However, as I was driving in the dark, the light around the seed of thought grew.
My first question, what really was the purpose of the Ali Sandwiches when I started?
It was to share my story of living in the middle of initially 2 dependencies, multiple challenges in my life with a mother with diminishing health, my young demanding children, playing single Mum while my husband was absent during the week, running a business and a life.
It was a way for me to unravel the many thought processes, worries I had during stressful times as well as an outlet for me to understand what I was learning through life experience and ponder what I was learning through books and teachers online and how to implement to improve the chaos that was happening around me.
It was a creative space for me to write, to find my voice, to share my voice.
My second question, therefore, was is the Ali Sandwiches still relevant and worthy of my time.
My story is different now. I am no longer stuck in a sandwich – My legendary Dad is thriving, my husband is sat next to me and more loving and attentive than ever, engaged in our lives as a couple and as a family. My boys are wonderful, happy, thriving and a joy to be with and around (90% of the time!). My life is full with a business and purpose I am passionate about and volunteering projects that fulfil my soul.
My teachers are still the same and I still ponder and wonder. But perhaps because the chaos has died down, the white noise has cleared, I find I no longer need to write it out.
AS for creative space and my love of writing, I have expanded my avenues and channels to spread my message and be a ‘light worker’.
So, it could still be relevant, but in a different way but perhaps no longer under the heading of a sandwich. I no longer feel trapped or confused as to what part I play in the sandwich. I am outside of the sandwich, no longer choosing it. Bread has always played havoc with my gut and IBS.
And is it worthy of my time? It could be. But perhaps less on a daily basis. My seed is growing towards the light that could be let in, if I let it go. The light tells me that it is perhaps one of the last things that tie me to my old story, my old chapter. But the dark reminds me that I committed to a daily blog challenge for life.
Who will win… light or dark? Old story or new? The fate of thealisandwiches is unknown…
Or perhaps it isn’t. For there is no winning or losing, just love and appreciation for the experience and a document to remind myself that I can get through anything, inspire myself to continue to keep doing the same.
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