positive | thealisandwichesdotcom

The art of finding the hyacinth..

Posted on October 11, 2015 by Ali Mortimer

As I had a quick scroll through facebook posts this morning, and an image with a quote saying ‘A negative mind will never give you a positive life’. And I had to comment… share my thoughts about the concept of ‘Mental Gardening’: a beautiful garden only remains beautiful, if consistently maintained, fertilized, loved and cared for.

Yes, you can blitz it every once in a while, but if you leave it, it will soon become overgrown with weeds and brambles again, strangling the life out of the good plants and flowers. It is an onerous task to dig up and re-plant an entire garden. Therefore, the concept of mental gardening refers to the daily maintenance of your thoughts, the weeds and brambles the negative thoughts, the maintenance being the ‘weeding’ out of thoughts that don’t serve you and the fertilizer the way in which you feed your mind with positive thoughts and feelings.

A comment back made me think this through further and as I walked along the river and through the woods this morning, scenarios played in my head…

There are many types of gardens… and we all have our own personal images of the idyllic garden. For me, my favourite garden is my Godmother’s … a beautiful English country garden, overgrown with roses of every colour, height and smell… a long meandering garden, with hidden corners, trellises, dark and mysterious in some parts and light and warm in others… with the fairies at the end of the garden behind the compost heap.

I compare this with Mr OCD’s perfect garden: regimented, perfectly straight mown lined lawns, trimmed box hedges, clipped, tall arrow fir trees, mainly green but with a few, simple coloured flowers that would have to be in rows and planted in total symmetry.

Does this reflect our differing minds and mentalities? My mind overgrown, a tangle of thoughts, feelings, a beautiful, interesting mélange, perfect… His, structured, neat, perfect….

I can see us both walking in our own gardens at peace… James standing tall, walking proudly, nodding at the perfect lawns, surveying the future clearly laid ahead of him…

And me, smiling, wonderous as I wander along the path, bending under branches of low apple trees, smelling the roses, excited to discover what is beyond the next gate.

My country garden would definitely have weeds, for some are beautiful…. I love daisies, poppies, clover, dandelion puffballs.. the fields and acres of Swiss mountain wildflowers of my childhood… silvery edelweiss, fields of blue gentians and sunshine primulas…

So that begs the question – do weeds provide a purpose too? Are they just as important and nutritious to keep our soil fertile to allow the true flowers and plants to grow?

I look at some of the weeds in my mind – the sad thoughts I have about my Mum… If I was to pull out those weeds, strim them down… would something worse grow in their place? Would they be replaced by more harmful weeds, nettles and the guilt of not caring? For that would surely sting more than reflecting on the sad, pretty cluster of daisies, representing the memories of my pretty Mum.

As we walk along the river bank, there is a large patch of ground covered in brambles, leaves, woodland weeds…. And sprouting in the middle, right in the middle is a beautiful patch of bright pink hyacinths. How perfect. To me this represented a mind that is in despair and it made me think of a few close to me whose mental garden could be reflective of this image. For in amongst every overgrown, strangled, desperately bland garden, there can always be a little patch of beauty… the quest is to find it… and focus on it. Find the joy in that small, pretty flower, fertilise it, water it and watch it grow… for like the hyacinths it will grow and spread and soon become a carpet of beautiful flowers, taking over the painful brambles and nettles.

Let there be calm…

Posted on October 10, 2015 by Ali Mortimer

It was my intention this morning to write later tonight… after double date night. A little experiment to see what would happen when I had had a few too many drinks! Would I be able to blog?! Type? What would come out?!!!

However, the house is calm. All is quiet. Only the sounds of the dog licking her legs after her walk and swim in the river.

I am calm.

I am worried why I feel calm? Shouldn’t I be feeling something else? It feels strange to feel this calm…. I haven’t worn this feeling for a while.

I slept last night. An amazing sleep. Nearly 11 hours. Mr OCD turned into Mr Wonderful… I didn’t really hear him get up… And as I wake up at nearly 10am, I find a cold cup of tea on my bedside table; he had obviously come up and given it to me without me waking hours ago.

The boys are fed, chilled and happy.

I offer to take the boys to football, but Mr W wants to take them… so I have another hour or so of peace. Time to myself… I run. It’s a misty, quiet day and it feels good to get out and raise my heart rate – something I hadn’t been able to do for a few days.

I return to find that Mr W is washing my car! With the help of little Willy on the power spray, Mr W teaches him how to go round the alloys to make sure each bit is perfectly clean (he is still Mr OCD!)…

The boys practice rugby throws and catches (we will win the World Cup when the Mortimer brothers play for England – Tom has already stated that he wants to be the England captain)… while Mr W (with his OCD hat on) clears out the garage and sweeps the yard and I get immense satisfaction from moving my summer wardrobe to the spare room and bring out my favourite autumnal clothes. There is something exciting about doing this exercise! It feels like I get a whole new set of clothes but yet somehow there is comfort in that I know they fit, know they don’t itch… it’s like greeting old friends.

It is quiet now, peaceful; the dog has stopped licking, there is the gentle hum of the fridge and the tapping of my fingers…

Mr W has taken the boys for a swim…. It is inflatable time at the pool.

The cynic in me is questioning why Mr W today? What does he want? The rugby is over… so it can’t be because he wants to go out for beers with the boys?

But the calmness is just so lovely, Snow White is bundling Dobby off and out of the house. I am too calm for that noisy sort of self chatter.

I’ll just let it be that he is Mr W today for no other reason than just that he is….

(And the tipsy blog will have to happen another day!)

Sunday Medicine

Posted on October 4, 2015 by Ali Mortimer

Sundays to me have always been a little bit about tradition… Family. Walks. Sunday Roasts. Peeling potatoes. The Archers in my childhood, more recently Downton…

Today was the perfect medicine and I found my off switch.

There is nothing lovelier that being brought a cup of tea in bed on a Sunday morning, the curtains opened gently so the sunshine streams in. And as I watch Downton this evening, I wonder how lovely it must have been to have had that every day…. I must have been Lady Mary in another life!

There is nothing lovelier than gathering soft cushions and pillows all around you to have a peaceful 30 minutes of reading a good book, with the gentle noise of 3 boys having breakfast together and I leave them to it for this is the only day a week they get to have a ‘man breakfast’ together…

There is nothing lovelier than pulling on your favourite winter jogging pants, slipping on your trusty trainers and letting popping tunes fill your head as you pound the pavements… There is nothing lovelier than jogging in the autumn – watching your breath whisper in the cool as you sigh at the beautiful countryside in the clear autumn sun, reds, oranges, yellows still mixing with the greens….

There is nothing lovelier than coming home to little boys wanting to throw rugby balls, tennis balls and run around the garden with you.

There is nothing lovelier than an impulse decision to go for lunch and a walk… 2 minute hot steamy showers, grabbing coats and scarves and pocket snacks as we fly out the door…

There is nothing lovelier than the Yorkshire Sculpture Park, rolling lawns, random enormous sculptures made to seem insignificant in the giant spaces, but beautiful, impressive against the blue, blue skies of the North today.

There is nothing lovelier than seeing your boys race and run, twist and turn, scrap and laugh, clamber and roll… sweaty noses, dirty knees, fishing for pocket treats, asking for ice creams.

There is nothing lovelier than family potato peeling, table laying, Grandparent teasing, clean plates, full bellies… there is nothing lovelier than the first roast ham of the season, nothing lovelier than comfort food.

There is nothing lovelier than hearing the boys read, how well they are doing, hearing how Tom helps his brother recognize words….nothing lovelier than 3 in a bed around one good book.

There is nothing lovelier than a full pot of tea, Sunday TV… and while I am a little melancholy the big man had to leave unexpectedly early, there is nothing lovelier than the realization, I am seeing him on Tuesday, just the 2 of us, our favourite London pub, bottle of red… nothing lovelier.

There is nothing lovelier than going to bed on a Sunday and waking up to brand new week…

Are you ‘Wendy’ enough?

Posted on October 2, 2015 by Ali Mortimer

It’s 5pm… and I have a drink. A stiff one. My favourite cocktail thanks to a fab friend – very kitsch, very 80’s… it’s Cointreau, Lime and soda, lots of ice…. If you haven’t tried it… you seriously should. Long and full of vitamin C… it is definitely medicinal.

It is a Friday so surely allowed? It’s a little earlier than my usual weekend drink… but today I think I deserve it! A hot bus for 4 hours with 45, noisy, squeally, excited 7 year olds… Their excitement infectious, but at points I wish I had ear plugs… It was a school trip to ‘The Deep’ in Hull…. A fab day trip out.

The drink is to try and relax my tense shoulders and neck… I was responsible for 6 children, 5 not my own, in the dark, who ran from one station to the next, muddling and mixing and darting into other pools of similar looking children… running up and down ramps, hiding behind pillars…. I didn’t lose any, I hearded them up multiple times and started to use the phrase ‘Team Mortimer’ and like little homing pigeons, they would come back.

What was interesting and intrigued and totally fascinated me today was how I could recognise many of the children by the traits they share with the parent that I have met. And not just their faces, bone structure, eyes or hair… but the way they spoke, the phrases they used, the mannerisms. Some parents would be so proud of their children.

It made me consider and reflect on the class discussions I had yesterday with my 15 ten year old girls. From totally different backgrounds, cultures, home lives and support networks from the children today. The topic yesterday, was about role models. What did they understand about the term? Who were their role models?

A role model, ‘a person looked to by others as an example to be imitated’.

We talked through many role models from Zoella (who I had not heard of before I few weeks ago, when my local friends with daughters provided me with some good ideas!), Princes Catherine, Jessica Ennis, Mary Berry, JK Rowling to Malala Yousafzai and many more. We discussed the values, behaviours and attitudes of these women, and men too (David Attenborough, Richard Branson) and put post it notes all over our class Role Model ‘Wendy’…

They wrote: kind, helpful, pretty, happy, strong, healthy, inspirational, passionate, committed, fashionable, smiley, believer, caring, listener, never gives up, motivated, creative, honest, giving, loving, generous and spoke the truth.

Once they knew the definition and characteristics of a role model, we asked who their role models were… answers were parents, grandparents, social workers, their class mates, their brothers, sisters and celebrities I had never heard the names of but who apparently were brilliant according to them, but whom I have subsequently found out have rather unsavoury sides..

So my question to myself – am I the type of role model that my son’s, my nieces, my goddaughters, these girls I stand in front of should imitate?

If we are present in the lives of others, especially those younger, more vulnerable than us, then we owe it to them to be that role model. Be the good person, the committed person, the optimist, the authentic, compassionate as well as passionate, courageous, abundant role model who speaks the truth, acts with kindess and in servitude.

We owe it to the generations to come to be the best versions of ourselves so that our children duplicate us… because they do you know! When you aren’t there, they speak the words you speak, their bodies mimic the way you stand, gesticulate and hold your head. They copy your confidence, your happiness just as much as your fears and tears…

Our behaviour is a silent signal to those around us… and if you are in a role of responsibility, whether that be parent, leader, CEO, boss, manager, bigger brother, sister, that means you. People do what you do, not what you say and especially so when you are not there…..

So am I Wendy? Are you Wendy? Can we ever be Wendy enough? Does Wendy exist in reality? Who knows…? but if we each strive to be like her, be a better person, commit to being a little better each week, then the ripple effect would be enormous and the world must surely benefit…

Cheers! My Cointreau is dry and I need another!

Can I or Can’t I?

Posted on October 1, 2015October 1, 2015 by Ali Mortimer

What a whirlwind day!

This morning feels like weeks ago…. So much has happened today.

I have done pilates and a PT (big shout out to Andy www.sweatpersonaltraining.co.uk). Lead a vibrant, fun, interactive class on role models to 15 ten year old girls where they covered ‘Wendy’ in lots of post-it notes of positive behaviours and had lunch with a lovely friend. Laughed so hard it hurt when Tom decided to go old school and listen to the CD’s and Christmas Crooners came on! We sang ‘Jingle Bells’ and ‘Santa Claus is coming to town’ and loads more all the way home. Took Willy swimming and dropped round samples of amazing new products to all my sporty friends who want to get more out of their workouts. Listened to some fantastic, inspirational people share their top tips for success and researched places to go for our 10 year wedding anniversary. Sat in a coffee shop for 40 minutes and ate a frog.

And then I just signed up for a Triathlon.

Just a sprint.

But it is still a bone fide Tri.

For ages, years in fact, I have watched James and many of our friends enter competitions. I thought it was a post baby phase that everyone was going through. I couldn’t be because they like wearing lycra (or is it?)… or that they like swimming in ponds and eating duck and swan pooh….

I kept telling myself, I can’t do that. I am not like them. Nah – that’s not for me…. I like my quick 30-50 minutes of exercise and it can all be done in just over an hour.

So many people have encouraged me to do one, or go on a big cycle ride with them. So why today?

Why indeed?

Why was it the lovely Pen who just happened to mention it, didn’t even really have to convince me. And I said – ok – I will do it with you. How do I sign up? What do I do? What do I need? Where do I go? Where do I practice? And then it was done.

So I ask myself why? Why?

I have found myself doing lots of things recently that I have thought for a long time that I couldn’t do. It seems that I have cleared my mind of can’t… and replaced it with ‘can’… or the question ‘how can I?’.

Rather than I can’t leave my profession, the one I have worked at, excelled at and enjoyed for so long…. I now think, how can I use my experience to benefit others? Now I don’t feel like it has been all in vain.

Rather than ‘I can’t start my own business, I have no idea, I have always worked in corporate, I can’t not have a permanent, fixed, guaranteed salary. I can’t take risks. I can’t teach, coach, be ‘just a mum’..’…. My mind is now always thinking, I can totally achieve success, grow a business, others have done it – I just need to copy the best! Read up on Richard Branson, Bill Gates, Ariana Huffington.. how can I find out what they did? What else can I do, set up, start? I can be a mum and still do all this stuff!

Rather than ‘I can’t walk the dog, I can’t love the dog’… I thought to myself ‘how can I love Perdi – everyone else does’… so I started to write a blog about her (https://ididntwantadog.wordpress.com/) and I found the funny side… It seems I do love Perdi.

Rather than I can’t get up at 5.30 every morning as Hal Elrod passionately advises us to do in his book ‘The Miracle Morning’, I need my sleep. I need 8 hours. Willy often wakes up… I can’t have a productive day on 5 hours sleep… I looked at myself and asked how can I? What if I just try 6.30am? if I can do that, surely I can do 6.15… and if I do each day a little bit earlier… I get a whole extra hour in my day or even more! Hal says all I have to do is tell myself each night before I go to sleep whatever time it is… ‘I am going to wake up refreshed and raring to go’… And so it seems I can get up at 6… (still working towards the 5.30 but it’s a lot better than 7.30 and the mad rush that follows!)

Rather than ‘I can’t forgive the wrongs, the hurtful words, actions that have impacted me, my self esteem, broken my heart, made me lose faith in friendships, relationships’… I tell myself ‘I can’. I can forgive, forget… I recognise the hurt, I know the scars are there, but that’s ok. I can move on. I am bigger, stronger, better.

So I have cleared my mind of ‘can’t’….

And this Tri thing… why not. I can do a Triathlon… easy.

Diamonds or Dust?

Posted on September 29, 2015September 29, 2015 by Ali Mortimer

It’s funny… I always worry the night before that I am not going to have anything to say or write about in my blog for the following day. I say to myself… ‘it’s ok – you can just write a line along the lines of… ‘nothing out of the ordinary day, nothing to share, nothing happening….’.. But that doesn’t seem to be my life!

This morning, just after 9am, I was headhunted by a new small consulting firm in London to go and interview to be a Partner to grow their business.

Wow.

Just as I bravely, mentally cut the ties to my old life. Out of the blue. I am flattered. I am scared. I even get butterflies?!

Alarm bells ring! What is this? Is this a test? A flattering temptation or an obstacle to test my determination and decision to lead a new life? A life of peace and tranquility, mindfulness, health, present and presence in my boys’ life (3 of them… husband is always included in reference to ‘boys’)… my new slice of the bread in my career / life path sandwich.

I didn’t ask the universe for this? How did it manifest?! I haven’t updated my Linked-in or online CV in months…

All of this flashes across my mind in the split seconds that I listen to the lovely, complimentary lady on the end of the phone. In my head, I hear James rejoicing! How proud he would be … his wife back in the corporate game… the money! The accolades! But I see, I see clearly the weeks away from home for this is a job and company based in London – 200 miles away from my boys, the pressure, the stress, the unhealthy competition, brown-nosing, selling, the long days and nights, all the reasons why I am moving on.

So if this is a test, I passed it. With flying colours, I politely said that at this point, I couldn’t consider being away from home but thank you for the opportunity.

I ponder… my head tipping this way and that…as I drive to various drop offs… Pressure. An interesting word.

‘’A continual physical force exerted on or against an object by something in contact with it’’.

‘’The use of persuasion or intimidation to make someone do something’’

I think we often see the word ‘pressure’ as having negative connotations. Pressure can lead to stress… stress can lead to cracks and ultimate collapse. Pressure on a person or object. I know that pressure in my corporate life, lead to huge stress, manifesting in poor health, eczema, tiredness, to cracks in my marriage, family life and final collapse of my world as I knew it. Ashes… Dust….. to be swept under the carpet or float away in the wind of change.

Yet today, I put pressure on myself to be healthy, do some form of exercise every day – from light to intense, pilates to spin, dog walk to gym. I have put pressure on myself to finding 30 minutes each busy day to write a daily blog about my life in the sandwich years. I put pressure on myself to grow my health, wellness and wellbeing business, to coach others to success with whatever health or career goal. I put pressure on myself to write the best class plans for my volunteer mentoring, the best speech for when I speak as a guest speaker in schools in the north. And yet this pressure, I thrive under! I am alive! I am happy… I am calm and energetic at the same time. I am being asked to do more, be more… live more!

So pressure can be good… I am reminded of a well known quote ‘ Diamonds are but carbon, until they are put under pressure’.

Be be warned… for there is a fine line between the good and the bad. The choice between Diamonds or Dust?

My experience is that you can do what you think you love to do, generate a big bank balance, but if the pressure is coming from external forces, you can end up lacking wealth or even health.

Or you can dig deep, follow your dreams, find out what it is you want to do … and do it. Do it for free. Do it for the love of doing it. Do it part time until you can do lots of it… I strongly believe that if you are doing what you love, no matter how much pressure you are under, you will always shine, sparkle, spread your joy. If the pressure comes from within, you will create diamonds.

I love Mondays!

Posted on September 28, 2015September 28, 2015 by Ali Mortimer

I love Mondays!

I used to HATE Mondays…

Funny how life changes…

In my Accenture days or freelance consultancy days, Mondays meant reeeeeeealllly early starts… to get to wherever the client site was. My worst trip was the one to work for New Look in Weymouth on the South Coast of the UK, when I lived in South London. It consisted of tubes, buses, a train, a change, and a long meandering drive (beautiful if you weren’t in a rush!), hugely frustrating drive behind tractors or caravans as there were so few overtaking places…in a random hire car. Up at the crack of dawn only to arrive by lunchtime to get some terrible food in a meagre canteen above the ‘shed’ as we would fondly refer to the huge warehouse and distribution centre for this up and coming fast fashion retailer.

It was those Mondays that used to eat in to your Sundays… rather than relaxing on the sofa, holding a roast-full-tummy, snoozing to the Antiques Roadshow, I would be restless, dashing around the house packing a suitcase, searching a laptop bag and paperwork that I may have thrown under a bed in disgust… and where the hell was my ‘on call’ phone?! Ugh – that was another hell… the fear of being called in the middle of the night to log into the computer system and work out why an overnight batch schedule had failed.. Black screens, green letters and blinking cursors – I hope I never see you again…. Cold, panic sweats as I used to fear whatever I did would bring a whole warehouse picking team to a stand still, waiting in a cold Weymouth car park at 4am, shaking their fists at me…. ‘the tech geek’, warm in a pink hotel room, under a duvet, laptop open, hair wild with frustration as I look for a bit of false information that has caused the system crash…

I digress… my old life… one I look back on, fondly, with good memories too of working with brilliant, talented minds, big drinkers… it wasn’t all screen time, only 90% of it. The rest was flaming drambuies, tiger tiger, back slapping….

So to the Mondays of my todays…

Instead of a nervous panic searching for lost items, it is more of a game… getting the boys to get their books together, do they have the right sports kit, enough socks, have they learnt their spellings? If not, they soon will… I use a timer…How quickly can we do it this week? The quicker they do it, the quicker we can watch a family movie, snuggle up… play a board game (their favourite is Monopoloy James Bond 007 – brilliant if you have boys!).

For me, Sundays are the end of a week and a time for reflection. I look forward to waking up at 6, ready to plan the week ahead, start a fresh; out with the old, in with the new – how can we improve this week? Easy this week for me – last week was a write off! So I am re-arranging my cancelled meetings, back to pilates at 6am, back to healthy eating, back to the gym, spin and I may try something new this week? Hot yoga? What will I share with my class on Thurday – the topic is Role Models – what a great subject to research… What coaching topic shall I share with my team, my leaders that I build businesses with..?

Who will I meet? What will I learn?

Bring it on Monday!

The victim, the hero(ine): Snow White and Dobby the house elf…

Posted on September 26, 2015September 26, 2015 by Ali Mortimer

The house is quiet. I have a hot coffee… and before I walk the dog, I thought I would empty my head. A little slice of my heaven….the quiet side, because I usually love the noise and chaos!

After 7 hours on a hard plastic chair and 11 hours with no food with only sneaky hidden sip of water when Willy wasn’t watching, we arrived home last night at about 7.30pm. My big man was home… a big bowl of pasta waiting for a very hungry and now very happy, jolly Willy. And a comment to me that I should get dinner on..

And here is where I watch a little scene play out in my head. I watch my thoughts… After two years of immersing myself in self development and life coaching with my wonderful coach, Karen, I see the Victim battle with the Heroine.

In my mind they have names, faces… it’s easier to watch then. My Heroine is Snow White… graceful, kind, loving, generous, abundant always smiling and singing a happy tune! Fa La La!!! My victim, my saboteur, is Dobby the house elf – he can’t help it but he is negative, selfish, fearful, skipping and hopping and dancing around nervously…

Dobby shouts back, hopping and waving his little fist.. ‘WHAT?! Are you serious? Me cook? Now? I can barely stand? I had a protein shake at 7am and nothing since, emotionally drained from worry and relief, still full of cold and you want me to cook?!’…

But Snow White is there… calm and floaty… ‘but look at him… he is tired.. he has tired eyes from driving 200 miles this evening and 80 this morning, he has a red nose so clearly has a cold, he has worked so hard this week.. and he has made the pasta… And look! Don’t you remember you took a stew out of the freezer this morning for tonight anyway? All you have to do is tip it in a pan and reheat it?’

Dobby still isn’t quite finished…little fists raised, gallopping around the kitchen… ‘but no one has looked after you this week? Don’t you want some TLC? Weren’t you looking forward to one of his big bear hugs, enveloping you in warmth and certainty? Someone to make you a hot drink and give you a hug and say everything will be ok? Can’t he see you need that? Go on – give him a peace of your mind!’

Thank God for Snow White… ‘If you cook for him, give him your soft tissues, he will hug you…. Look he is suffering just as much as you – can’t you hear him grunting, snorting, groaning? He needs a hug too and looking after… Look after him and he will look after you.’ Fa la la!

….

You are probably reading this and thinking, My God – she needs to join her mother in the Mental Hospital! Is she seriously visualising Snow White and Dobby prancing around her kitchen?

But having read ‘The Power of Now’, ‘The Chimp Paradox’…I am beginning to understand so much more about the mind… How you can change reactions in to responses… One of my favourite quotes, I can’t remember who said it as there as so many variations from so many key authors, speakers… ‘Where focus goes, energy flows and results show’. Us British are so good at focus on the negative, playing the underdog… when really we should focus on what we want, the positives we have.

Years ago I used to let Dobby rule my reactions and last night would have ended up in arguments and no supper, tears and frustration.

Just call me Snow White.

Dreams do come true!

Posted on September 24, 2015September 24, 2015 by Ali Mortimer

Today is the day that is going to lift me out of the haze of snot, the muffliness of blocked ears.

It felt a little bit like Christmas as I was so excited and awake well before my alarm.. Today was my first day in front of a class of 15 ten year old girls.

My childhood dream as a little girl was to be a teacher, a writer and painter and a Mummy.

At school I was incredibly creative – I was always top in Art exams, I wrote endless stories in note books and I made lace… (yes – lace with bobbins… !). I wanted to take Art and Latin and languages for my A levels but my teachers and parents persuaded me otherwise – I was very good at Maths too, so it was double Maths and double languages for me. I listened again and was influenced by my elders and took Business Management with French for a Degree and at the end of a 4 year course I still had no idea what I wanted to do… A dream of being a teacher, a painter and a writer long lost as my peers all signed up with big blue chip companies.

I fell in to Management Consultancy, quite by chance… but I suppose it was a happy chance as it appealed to both my creative side as well as my analytical side. I got to design systems, look at ‘architecture’ and became part of the technology revolution in retailing. It was a love, hate relationship! It paid fantastically, it was a brilliant challenge, it was time consuming, stressful and eventually took too much time away from my family.

So here I am … going back to realize my dreams!

I stood in front of my class of 15 ten year olds and shared my story proudly. I may not be a true teacher in academic or professional terms, but I can teach them about life, or my experiences of life: Be clear on your dreams. Ask for help if you don’t know what it is you are looking for. If you find what you are doing doesn’t make you happy, be brave and have the courage to change. True success is doing what you love, because that is what will make you happy… and happiness is the key to success!

I may not be a true painter… but in my Health, Wellness and Wellbeing business, I paint the picture of how life can be like when you are healthy, happy, doing what you love, being your authentic self.

I may not be a true writer, haven’t written a novel… but I am getting there!

So I guess, that’s not bad … realizing all your dreams before you reach 40 because my last dream of being a Mummy is definitely fulfilled… I changed bed sheets 4 times last night, kissed little heads multiple times, trod on lego, picked up discarded clothes, read stories and awoke to my alarm clock of pattering feet as Tom races to dive on my bed with a big grin as he is always delighted to see a new day begin!

The Power of Positivity

Posted on September 20, 2015 by Ali Mortimer

If I was writing this blog 3 years ago, I would be writing very differently…

My background in building, designing, testing, supporting IT systems lent me to be critical, cynical in nature, looking for the worst that could happen… so that I could ensure it wouldn’t happen! This spilled out into my personal life… a complete worrier, stress monkey, negative Norma… I must have been a real barrel of laughs in the pub!

A far cry from the little girl who was always smiling, laughing and given prizes for the biggest smile, the happiest, the most positive person in the room.

What happened along the way? I had a great job, a gorgeous boyfriend who became an amazing husband and father; a wonderful circle of friends.. make that circles – the iron ring, the uni girls, the Yorkshire circles; sister and sister in law as best friends, healthy family, loved my in-laws (how lucky am I?)…

But I felt in a constant state of lack… I (we?) were always striving for something more, always wanting more, a bigger house, a faster car, another baby, more diamonds, better sofas, more money, a promotions, a more exotic holiday…

So what’s changed?

Instead of seeing the sadness in today, the misery, the lack of my mum, the boys’ Grannie Brooks, attracting the attention of pity, I was able to see this weekend as one of joy….

A day to remember with pride and gratitude for the money we raised (over £2,400 plus more coming in), for the awareness we raised to 100’s of the terrible disease that is Alzheimer’s.

A day to remember as memories of my 3 strapping men playing rugby around the 7km walk in Oxfords parks, my big man teaching our little men to spin throw and tackle safely…

A day to remember as I watch my 79 year old dad have his first experience of Zumba and stride strongly round the course to be presented with his medal.

A day to remember as I hold my sister’s teeny hand as we walk and talk….

A day to remember as we all sit around the table and laugh as we can’t keep up with Willy’s ‘I spy’ games and how easily I lose the ‘Yes / No’ game…

I don’t remember when the shift from negative to positive happened… not exactly anyway… But I know how. It dawned on me as I got in the car to drive north, the boys slept and I put on one of my favourite audiobooks – The Power By Rhonda Byrne…

The Power of Positive Thoughts.

The Power of Positive Feelings.

The Power of Good Vibrations.

The Power of Love.

Today was about Love – a love for my Mum and for so many others on the walk today and the love that they have for someone who has suffered a disease you wouldn’t wish on anyone. A day to make happy, joyful memories… no one needs more sad ones.