There’s only one real topic on people’s minds and tongues today and that is the very sad passing of the music legend David Bowie. He was, according to the information I have seen in various news feeds / channels, surrounded by his family when he passed away.

 

His death and the commentary surrounding it, unleashed two trains of thought in my mind.

 

The first one involved my Mum… and my Dad. They have both been ill, under the weather over Christmas… Mum stopped eating and walking and had to be moved around in a wheel chair. Rather a dramatic turn after her constant pacing of the ward in the hospital. And my Dad, unsurprisingly, also became ill with chest infections and bronchitis, emotion, exhaustion and lack of adrenalin finally taking.

 

Wonderful friends of my Mum rallied round to support my Dad and visited Mum, while Dad had a well earned rest to recover.   Over the Christmas period, while we were in full festivities and excitement, a few photos came through of my Mum. Just a millisecond glance of them shocked me and I had to delete them….

 

To get through Christmas and be the fun, social Mummy (and wife/friend) I had to be for my boys, I had to keep my emotions under wraps and my Mum in her jewelled box, with her kittens and her chocolates.

 

But on hearing about David Bowie, I have a sudden urge to be south, to be with her, to see her and to see my Dad too. Family. While I have my own family here in Yorkshire, I still have a family in Buckinghamshire.

 

It is time to open the box and lean into the emotions.

 

The second train of thought, involved death and family and a technique I read about in a fantastic book called ‘The Tools’ by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels. It focuses on 5 main tools you can use to unlock your potential.

 

It is the final ‘Tool’ that stuck with me, or struck the biggest cord with me: Jeopardy.

 

‘Jeopardy’ is a technique you can use to help raise your will power, to push through any fears or doubts you have, when in your gut, you know what you need or want to do is right, but you are scared.

 

Imagine yourself in the future (hopefully a very long way in the future) lying on your deathbed, surrounded by your family. If you in your present state were also present and you asked your future self the question – should I? or what’s your opinion…   How would they answer?

 

It is highly unlikely they would procrastinate… With only days, hours, moments left, your future self will understand the importance of the present moment, given they have so few left.

 

 

It is highly likely they would tell you to get on and do it…. Take a leap of faith! What have you got to lose? Do what you love… enjoy every moment you can!

 

This deathbed perspective can create an immense sense of urgency, give you the courage to get over your fears and follow your dreams.

 

I wonder if David Bowie used that technique through the course of his life… he was a chameleon in the pop world, reinventing himself, taking crazy risks, trying new things…

 

He is a lot like marmite to many – love his music, or not… but you have to admire him for spending a lifetime doing what he loved.

 

While the thoughts of many are that he was taken too soon, I am confident as he lay surrounded by his loving family, rather than thoughts of regret, I am confident they were ones of happiness and pride for what he created and the legacy he left behind.

 

I think it was just before lunch (I had been concentrating on making homemade soup) that I realised that while everyone was at home, it was very quiet. 
Almost too quiet.
As a mother of 2 boys.. That usually means trouble! The more noise there is the better, they can’t be up to anything bad if there is noise… In previous silent times, they have been found lost in a local field and another time, hiding behind a hedge throwing confers at cars (!!!!! I had to deal with a suitably irate driver.. No supper that night) …  
Laughing, fighting, crying, chattering… The thud of any sort of ball – football, rugby, tennis..) on the side wall of the house, music and dancing… Or just the tv… Means my boy trouble radar is calm.
So the still, peaceful quietness alerted the radar. 
I downed tools and set off with the intention to break up or find trouble…. 
What I found was totally the opposite. The boys curled up next to each other, headphones on, watching I-pads… The Lego challenge for Willy and music videos for Tom – Jonny Orlando is his latest fad! And always OD! 
Mixed emotions!
One of ‘phew!’….No trouble.

Two of ‘cute!… Huddled together…

Three of ‘hmmm’… Too much tech!!
Do my boys have too much tech? They love apps on the iPad, they love the wii they got for Christmas.. And they love YouTube clips for music and fun…. They love tv and movies… They know how to use all the tech in the house and move from one to the next, stop a movie and switch if they don’t like it… 
I recall my sister and I playing at their age… We played with dolls, did colouring, we made up plays… If we watched a movie it was one of a limited choice (Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Finians Rainbow, the Sound of Music, the slipper and the rose … Grease! The ones I remember). We sat through adverts.
Everything seems to have speeded up! They get what they want, when they want… Can flit from one to the next. 
I imagine for the next generation it will only get faster….
I embrace the changes and advances in technology, however I strongly believe in balance in the family and wholeheartedly ensure that simple family traditions are embraced so that our children don’t grow up in a soundproof environment, insensitive to surroundings or other people. 
Traditions I remember from my childhood are family meals, family roasts at weekends and extended family tea with my grandad, cousin, aunt and uncle… Playing cards and board games… Laughing and learning about strategy for gin rummy and asking questions in Cluedo.
So Sunday’s for us are about family… Family walks by the river, throwing sticks for the dog, climbing trees… Lunches at the table and roasts with Granny and Grandpa. They learn manners and the art of conversation, respect for elders, adventure and fun. 
 I remember a week without my phone was the most liberating week I ever had! I may event introduce phone free Sunday’s for me …. 
#liveinthemoment

#techfreetraditions

  

I have noticed over the course of today that there are many that naturally go together….Tea and bed

Cuddles and kisses

Beans and toast

Tom and willy

Blond hair and blue eyes

Ipads and tantrums

Hide and seek

Ham and cheese

Pirates and carribean

Grandpa and wine

Perdi and sheep

Detox and cleanse

Green and juice

Laughter and family

Success and failure

….
This last one, I stumbled across as I had a quick scroll through my Twitter feed. I follow one of my heroes – Sir Richard Branson and he had recently posted a short video on the topic.
I was first introduced to the concept of ‘failing forward’ when I was advised to read the book by John C Maxwell. It was eye opening! Why hadn’t I been shown this book in my 20’s??
We start our lives not caring what happens as long as we achieve what we want… We cry to bed fed as babies. We fail often to learn new skills – we fall over, trip, stumble as we learn to walk.. We try to put round cylinders in square holes, until we learn the shapes, twist and turn them til they fall in to the box! We are frustrated without stabilisers on our bikes, until we have fallen so many times we learn how to balance. 
As we grow older, we begin to start to hear the laughs of our parents at our frustration more than their cheers when we get it right. We start to understand embarrassment, worry about what people think, how they perceive us… We either hide our failed attempts from the world, in private or seclusion… Or we just never try anything new again. We hide our passions…we cover our true selves in clothes that suit society or those around us.
In my 20’s I was hell bent on conforming… The right uni, the right job, the right clothes, the right weight, find the right guy… 
In my 30’s, I started to fail because of that conformity… But I started to learn what was making me unhappy. I started to change. I started to reassess. I started to implement changes. Some of those changes didn’t work either, so I started the process again… I reassessed, I made changes… I started again. I have become more confident in trying new things … If they work, great, if not… Next! (I’m not quite ready to quit the blog yet!! I am enjoying it too much…)
As I approach my 40’s, I have started to understand the concept that as long as you learn from each experience, there is no such thing as failure. In fact failure only happens if you fail to learn. I have also learnt to be impervious to the laughs and opinions of others as I fail. They are entitled to their opinion and if they snigger, so what? .. I am too busy learning to care.  
And to be honest, there are probably very few watching anyway….
Failure and success. They go together. Like ramanana and zippitydingdidong… They just do.

#successandfail
I have noticed over the course of today that there are many that naturally go together….

Tea and bed

Cuddles and kisses

Beans and toast

Tom and willy

Blond hair and blue eyes

Ipads and tantrums

Hide and seek

Ham and cheese

Pirates and carribean

Grandpa and wine

Perdi and sheep

Detox and cleanse

Green and juice

Laughter and family

Success and failure

….
This last one, I stumbled across as I had a quick scroll through my Twitter feed. I follow one of my heroes – Sir Richard Branson and he had recently posted a short video on the topic.
I was first introduced to the concept of ‘failing forward’ when I was advised to read the book by John C Maxwell. It was eye opening! Why hadn’t I been shown this book in my 20’s??
We start our lives not caring what happens as long as we achieve what we want… We cry to bed fed as babies. We fail often to learn new skills – we fall over, trip, stumble as we learn to walk.. We try to put round cylinders in square holes, until we learn the shapes, twist and turn them til they fall in to the box! We are frustrated without stabilisers on our bikes, until we have fallen so many times we learn how to balance. 
As we grow older, we begin to start to hear the laughs of our parents at our frustration more than their cheers when we get it right. We start to understand embarrassment, worry about what people think, how they perceive us… We either hide our failed attempts from the world, in private or seclusion… Or we just never try anything new again. We hide our passions…we cover our true selves in clothes that suit society or those around us.
In my 20’s I was hell bent on conforming… The right uni, the right job, the right clothes, the right weight, find the right guy… 
In my 30’s, I started to fail because of that conformity… But I started to learn what was making me unhappy. I started to change. I started to reassess. I started to implement changes. Some of those changes didn’t work either, so I started the process again… I reassessed, I made changes… I started again. I have become more confident in trying new things … If they work, great, if not… Next! (I’m not quite ready to quit the blog yet!! I am enjoying it too much…)
As I approach my 40’s, I have started to understand the concept that as long as you learn from each experience, there is no such thing as failure. In fact failure only happens if you fail to learn. I have also learnt to be impervious to the laughs and opinions of others as I fail. They are entitled to their opinion and if they snigger, so what? .. I am too busy learning to care.  
And to be honest, there are probably very few watching anyway….
Failure and success. They go together. Like ramanana and zippitydingdidong… They just do.

So. Back to my formula for success… I am going to write it out … read it back… and then see what happens. I needed to write this in the day, alert… rather than at the end of the day….

 

The success formula that I will be applying for 2016 is as follows.

 

First of all define, success. What does success look like … or more importantly, FEEL like for me…   That’s easy.

I want to feel happy.

 

So what is happiness for me… ?

The year that we had the most financial success, the most belongings, the fast cars and jewelry, multiple exotic holidays… was the year I was the most desperately unhappy. So I know that ‘things’ don’t make me happy, or at least long term happy!

 

The times I have felt the most sincerely happy, are the times I feel at peace with myself and everyone and everything around me.

 

The times I have felt the most happy are when I am in the moment… when my head is clear of chatter and lists and worry.. When I am focused on one thing only, and the thing I am doing right then… not worrying about the future, what has to get done… not worrying about the past, how it affected me..

 

The times I am most happy are when I am writing this blog.

 

The times I am most happy are when I am in bed with two little boys curled up reading stories.

 

The times I am most happy are family sofa times, family meal times, family walks.

 

The times I am most happy are when I am just with the Big Man… talking, opening up…. Feeling his strength and his warmth, feeling protected and loved.

 

The times I am most happy are reading a good book, curled up under my duvet or lying in the sun…

 

The times I am most happy are when I run… music loud, legs free.

 

The times I am most happy are when I am making a difference, educating others

whether that be through my Mosaic Classes or sharing the Arbonne story.

 

The times I am most happy are when I am with people on the same wavelength as I am…

 

I love the saying… ‘A man is not a financial plan’…

So, if all that is what makes me happy, how can I build a life, how can I personally build an income to support that life If I want that happy life, then it is up to me to make that happen… I am responsible for that… and that is a powerful feeling. I don’t have to rely on anyone to make that happen. And given I am no stranger to hard work, that is empowering.

 

So the formula then for success (once you know what success is):

 

If (M + V) + (H + E) = F

 

 

M is mind and V is vision.

H is heart and E is emotions or feelings.

 

It is when the heart and mind works together in harmony… that is when the magic happens.

 

In your mind, there is a vision of your life as you wish it, dream it.

In your mind, there is the vision of what you intend to create.

By holding in your mind and looking at your vision regularly (some say at least 3x a day for 10 minutes), your intentions of what you want to manifest are imprinted on the conscious mind.

Once your conscious mind recognizes what you want, it will then be able to single out opportunities and people to realize the vision. The creative juices of the conscious mind will begin to flow…

 

In your heart, and your gut, you have feelings and emotions. These are interlinked with your Core Values (mine are light, love, purity, integrity, gratitude and laughter). Together this is your navigation system… you know if something feels right or wrong… if right, then the action or choice you are about to make is in line with your core values and you feel good. Alternatively, if the action you are about to take isn’t in line, then you feel bad…

These feelings or emotions are there to guide your subconscious mind in supporting your conscious mind in to action. They are your programming.

 

(As an aside, fear is an emotion .. but we are only born with the fear of falling or the fear of loud noises.. everything else is learnt and can therefore be unlearnt. Fear is often the reaction to doing something new and releases the same chemicals and reactions in the body as excitement… a topic for another day maybe… But not doing something if you are fearful, isn’t a reason not to do it… )

 

So when your hearts and minds are aligned, your feelings are good and that puts out a certain energy, you are on a specific frequency. And here is the ‘F’ in the formula.

 

Just like we tune in to a radio station frequency that appeals to us as an individual, when you are acting on a certain frequency you will attract other opportunities, people, circumstances that will be on that same wavelength.

 

And that is where the magic happens. F = P + A.

Frequency gives you the Power and therefore to  Attract what you need to create what you have in your mind….

 

If anyone had read the above words to the cynical, negative Ali Mortimer, 3 years ago… I would have laughed and said that it was nonsense, unbelievable… rubbish.

 

So hence the last part of my formula: (2T + C)= S

 

Getting your Mind and your Heart to work together and be aligned to create the Frequency you need to be on to have the Success you want… takes 2 things… well 3 actually:

 

Trust.

Time.

And Consistency.

 

You have to Trust that the principle works. I have done my research, read books, learnt from others who have put this practice into place… successful people, wealthy people in terms of financial income, but in terms of peace in their hearts and lives.

 

And you have to give it Time and patience. This is a skill that has to be practiced with Consistency, daily so that it becomes second nature….

 

3 years ago, I was asked the question – what did I want for my life? What did I want to be known for?

I had no idea. I was so wrapped up in my ego… and didn’t believe in a future that was any more than what I currently had as I wasn’t sure I could do any more than I currently did.

 

So I consciously wrote down the answer, I added visuals and pictures, words and phrases…

 

I still have my first vision collage.

 

 

I used to look at rather infrequently, but at least once a day as it was on my desk, behind my PC screen. Just visible….

At the time, I wasn’t sure I believed in the principle… but I thought I would give it a go.

 

It amazed me, that a year later, when I noticed the collage had fallen down… That I had achieved or received everything on that collage. I spent more time with my boys, my family, my best friends; we had been travelling, skiing; I had pretty much the exact handbag and the necklace was a ring but of the same design; I had done more charity work and the boys had been offered a place at the school we had always dreamed they would go… and I had someone to help me do the housework (which I had put in as a joke!).

 

The only thing I hadn’t achieved or received… was my new company car – a white Mercedes. However, I had helped my great friend get hers! Note to self – put yourself in the picture!

 

So whether I believed in the process or not at the start… I did after that… and I do now… I trust and believe in the principles and the process…

 

I trust in the formula.

I know what I want to create for myself and my family and my life.

I am mindful of my emotions and core values…

I trust in the principles…

I surrender to the formula…

 

#trust

#frequency

#heartandmind

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are people we come across in the journeys of our life that can have an effect on us… they can have an effect on our moods, our attitudes… they can make us have a lighter, springier step… or they can make us feel like all the light present in us has been extinguished…

 

Today I was so lucky to have spent time with several people who have illuminated a spark or two inside me… have made me feel good! They spread their joy… and it rubbed off on me.

 

Having my hair cut is like having therapy.

 

Not just because I walk out feeling fab because I get great hair! But because my friend who cuts it is just one of life’s most effervescent, generous, spirited, crazy-fun people. Rather than the herbal, fresh lemon and ginger tea we drink, you would think we were on the tequila shots at 9.30 in the morning! His laugh is infections… and his energy is tangible. He talks at a million miles an hour and we get through all the topics we need to discuss from travel, life events, Christmas, books and business…

 

My hair is only just finished as his next appointment walks in…

 

And I am in for my second treat of the day… I have my own private coaching session with one of the people I admire so much in the industry that I work in. Her eyes are massive and beautifully blue and she is the kind of person you can tell all your secrets to and know they are safe… Her calmness, her natural kindness is warmth personified…

 

As I swop my gorilla slippers for my favourite Zapita snakeskin boots and step outside, I am a new person… a little piece of their gorgeous personalities reflected into my own … I am armed with confidence and new books to read…

 

It’s at this point, I wish I had taken a photo… new carpets mean no outside shoes… we had hulk feet, gorilla faces and moon booties as slippers….! And as I think about it, they tie in nicely with how I felt as I left…

 

The Hulk – I am bullet proof, strong… don’t mess with me!

Gorilla faces – I am full of fun and have a massive grin!

Moon boots – I am on a rocket ship! Watch out world!

 

Today has made me realize more than ever it is so important to spend the most time with the people who bring out the best in you, make you feel good, make you feel inspired… who make you believe that anything is possible…

 

Maybe more importantly, it has made me understand that I need to be aware of how I am when I am around others … moods, attitudes are infectious….

 

#happypeoplebreedhappypeople

#spreadalittlejoy

 

 

 

 

 

The fourth of January!   Today signified a fresh start… a new year… a new term…

 

Excited for the newness of the next day, I got in to bed early last night, read my book and fell in to a deep sleep…

 

Only to be woken up by Willy and a nightmare at 3.30am…

 

Have you ever had one of those nights when you just can’t turn off your mind? No sign of the grey cloak of sleep appearing?

 

I just couldn’t go back to sleep…

 

No position was comfortable… my front, my side, my back… one pillow, 2 pillows, no pillows…

 

Each time I tried to empty my mind a new thought, a new memory, a new task to do, flew into my mind….

 

And then each thought, task, memory, wish, dream flurry like leaves in a whirlwind… and as I let each one go, another comes in, or maybe one I have already let go… Round and round… faster and more furious…

 

And the clock keeps on ticking! Closer to the time to get up…

 

Burying myself under the duvet further doesn’t help…

 

Repeating my gratitude’s only makes me think of something else… triggers another thought, goal, task…

 

And then it is 6.08 and Tom is up going to the loo… and just as I had nodded off to sleep, there is no hope of returning to sleep.

 

So I tell myself that 5 hours is a perfectly acceptable amount of sleep to function on… get up, get showered, clean my teeth, do 15 minutes pilates (killer after being away from my mat for 6 weeks!)… kiss Willy goodbye and get in the car to school…

 

Whether it is lack of sleep, the pitch black drive to school and back, the lack of toxins (for I started a detox at the weekend – nothing like a terrible hangover to kickstart early Detox and Cleanse!)… but my head felt like it was in a vice…

 

So I decided to start again.

 

I went back to bed.

 

The rest of the day has been pretty good!

#freshstart

#startover

#newday

 

3 years ago, I received an email from an old colleague of mine from our days at Accenture telling me she had started a new business and would love to tell me about it…

 

At the time, I was working full time, but being paid part time in a role that I loved, working with team I had utmost respect for and for a role model leader who empowered her team to realize a common goal. I didn’t mind working the long hours as the satisfaction was fantastic, pioneering a new way of developing code and delivering huge benefits for the mothership company…

 

We tried several times to meet but it wasn’t to be for 6 months – life got in the way – a work trip to Silicone Valley for one… and one son’s broken arm another…

 

In that 6 months, life had changed. My line manager had changed … and rather than an empowering style, it was belittling, un-genuine… Working left an ugly taste in my mouth and the school events I missed with my children, the evenings with my husband I sacrificed on conference calls to the US were no longer worth it…. especially when I was getting an average sleep of 4 hours a night with my non-sleeping little son!

 

It was actually the Big Man who wrote my resignation letter and asked whether I would like to hit the send button, or whether he should…

 

It was liberating!

 

And I was liberated the next day rather quickly from the office to be put on gardening leave…   It was the summer of 2013 and it was the summer of a long heatwave!

 

I lay on my garden steamer, in my shorts, with a pencil and a blank sheet of paper…

 

At the top, I wrote ‘the world is my oyster… what do I want to do?’…

 

And I wrote.

 

And I wrote…

 

I wrote how I wanted my life to look like, the type of work I wanted to do, with what kind of people, the hours I wanted to work… and who I wanted to spend time with.

 

On the other side of the blank sheet of paper, I wrote ‘Why would people want to work with me?….’ And I wrote a long list of all my qualities, experiences…

 

I put my pencil down… and I turned my head to the sun and I daydreamed… and I breathed…   It was so good to be outside. Outside in the daytime. And for the first time in a long time, I was actually excited. I hadn’t a clue what was going to happen next… but I felt excited and in control of my destiny.

 

I had written my blue print.

 

I had written down my list of criteria to benchmark all future opportunities against. A checklist… (a bit like the ones you do when looking for a house – what you want, what is non-negotiable and what you could compromise on… Unless you are the big man… and then there is no compromising! On houses anyway… )

 

At the time, I hadn’t heard of ‘The Secret’ or ‘The Law of Attraction’… but it wasn’t long after that afternoon, that my friend got back in touch again suggesting we meet.

 

We did meet! And it was wonderful rekindling a strong friendship that we had had in previous years… but I was also intrigued by the business she shared with me.

 

I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t heard of it before, or why everyone didn’t have a business like it…

 

She gave me a book. I read it cover to cover in the garden that afternoon… I said I would love to go into business with her, even though I had no idea what I was doing… And then she suggested that I come along with her to a Business Training meeting that week in Manchester.

 

I started the business because it was simple and would make me a little bit of extra cash on the side and because I had quite a few months off, no new baby to look after and felt a bit of a fraud doing nothing! To this point, I had never not had a job or summer job since the age of 14 (my first job – watering plants in the local garden centre).

 

I distinctly remember the Business Training meeting.

 

I distinctly remember the Business Training meeting because it was unlike any other training I had been on.

 

There was a lot of light.. . a lot of white… (hot June summer’s day)… it was noisy! It was JOLLY! A lot of laughter… Everyone said hi! And Welcome! Everyone was polite, moved seats to make room…

 

There wasn’t a blackberry, a grey suit or a dull face in sight….

 

And when it was time to listen… everyone listened. They hung on every word…

 

And when I left, I realized that while I had started a new business in a profession I had no clue about, in an industry I had only just head of… to make a bit of shoe money, that 90 minutes had changed my life forever.

 

Shoe money didn’t interest me any more… but the opportunity to leave a legacy did. To earn enough money to ensure I had no financial worries and if I had no financial worries, then neither did my family… And if my family didn’t have any financial worries, then I could help others who did…

 

Shoe money didn’t interest me anymore… but the opportunity to invite other people who weren’t happy to join others who were happy and let their light, their passion, their positivity rub off on them, just as it had me.

 

Shoe money didn’t interest me anymore… but giving hope to others did.

 

Today I spent the day in a Training Academy… and each time I attend any trainings, I am always reminded of that first training… and it fuels my desire and vision for the future.

 

Shoe money is nice… but giving (giving shoes if you will) is far more fulfilling…

 

3 years ago I was a pioneer in code development.

Now I see myself as a pioneer in an industry that develops people…

There’s no going back.