I always find it fascinating to read past blog posts; not every day, but sometimes, on the odd occasion one will pop up and the words, quote or photo will intrigue me enough to see what I had to say.

This time last year, I wrote that I felt like I was Alice falling down the rabbit hole, and the destination wasn’t to Wonderland.  I wasn’t sure what road I wanted to take, nothing made sense, I was curious and was haunted by wanting to know more, yet knew it wouldn’t help in the long run.  And yet all through it, I knew I had to close my eyes and dream of a future that I could one day believe in… and I kept that visualisation going as I continued to fall down that dark rabbit hole.

It was my guide.  Sometimes I veered off track.  Sometimes I didn’t believe it.  Sometimes it was clouded by anger, masked by pain, fell in to the shadow when the past became bigger than the future.  But it was always there…

I also wrote that I wanted to fast forward the year, know the answers and see what happens.

But if I had done that, I wouldn’t have experienced what I experienced, learnt what I learnt, become what I have become, believed what I believe now to be true.

That I am in Wonderland.  And I am confident that it can only get better.