A friend gave me some beautiful tulips for my birthday. When I first put them in the vase, they were ram rod straight, their beautiful purple heads perfectly tear shaped. Perfectly held together.
Today, as is my current practice, after I had prepared the boys for school – the usual 10 minutes of kissing, whispering and cajoling to wake them up slowly (no one deserves a bright light, loud shout or bell to wake them up, it’s just not good for the soul), egg and baked bean platters, usual panic for missing items of clothing before shipping them out the door for their morning school run – I went back to my calm place.
I opened the windows to let in the light, lay down and plugged in the calming tones and voices of a lead mindfulness meditation. Freeing my mind of all thoughts and plans for the morning, list and chores and jobs that needed doing.
When I opened my eyes, I saw the tulips, bathed in light. Their heads open, their spines relaxed, as a group they had opened and spread their wings and they were beautiful. More beautiful than the tall perfect soldiers.
A relaxed, happy, free creation.
As I rolled over I saw the clock said 12.08. I had been asleep for nearly 3 hours! Unplanned.
I rather surprised myself with my reaction of, ‘oh well.’
Maybe I took my cue from the tulips. I have been so focussed on holding myself together, standing tall, being ‘perfect’, doing the right things, saying the right things. But that takes huge amounts of energy, determined mindset to stay positive, hitting the negative thoughts back over the net.
Today, I let go today. I gave myself permission to.. I gave in to the need to sleep and rest. In fact, I prioritised it. Who needs to go the dentist anyway?
Incidentally, I just read my chapter in the detox book; apparently day 2 you may feel sluggish, flu like, tired and achy, have odd sleep patterns. And one of the journal questions was ‘Can I give myself permission to have a down day – to accept what’s happening and allow the process to unfold?’