Today, if any day is a day I ‘need’ to sink a bottle of wine or multiple V&T’s and a large slice of cake, or maybe a whole cake.

 

If yesterday was a day of permitting myself to sleep and rest, today was a day I permitted myself to open my Pandora’s box of suppressed feelings and cry.

 

And if yesterday there were parallels in my behaviours to those described in the detox plan, there were also today.  Today’s focus was ‘Empty’.  Through focussing on eating healthily, drinking lots of water, I am flushing out all my previously ingested and gut-stored toxins of wine, caffeine and sugar.  Through focussing on reconnecting with myself, it seems I am flushing out all the negative, toxic thoughts and feelings in my body and mind.

 

I already appreciated that a build up of ignored toxins in the body can lead to illness, discomfort.  And I am rapidly learning that a build up of ignored, toxic thoughts in the mind can lead to the same.

 

By living in the moment, living on that knife edge of not looking back into the past, while not worrying and controlling future events has meant I have supressed many thoughts and feelings, rather than recognising them and appreciating them in order for them to ‘flow’ through and out.   I have made myself unknowingly toxic.  And the toxic build up lead to intense tension in my back, neck, shoulders and head that this morning was too much to ignore;  that was too much for mindfulness, too much for a hot shower and too much for an hour’s stretching in pilates.

 

But it wasn’t too much for an hour of talking, letting the noxious thoughts and feelings, the poisonous resentment out in a flow of long monologue.

 

Like any good elimination, the discomfort alleviates almost immediately.  And I feel free again to move and think freely and allow the good thoughts that had been strangled to breathe.

 

This detox plan is good.