Detox… why?

So Day 2 of prep was getting final provisions to make soups, salads, snacks and suppers… and have a few final indulgences.  The last flat white.  The last steak supper.

 

And while nursing that flat white answering a list of questions to ‘align my mind and intentions’ and writing them down.  I believe an important process to do before any intended activity or changes to routine.  Studies have shown that the art of writing down why you do something and what you aim to get from the actions, you stand a far greater chance of achievement.  So I set my mind free and my pen flow.

 

And the answers were interesting.  To me anyway as the truth always comes out on paper.  Answers to questions in your head are just fleeting and the real answers have a habit of being banished or lost.

 

What were the things I thought would prevent any success on the plan? My addiction to chocolate after a meal, wine as it has become an evening habit recently and most frighteningly, the outside influences and opinions of others who will go out of their way to try and make me feel bad / stupid for doing it.

 

Seeing that written down, just made it easier to mitigate the risks.  Remove all chocolate from the house, don’t open a new bottle of wine and also, as Mark says, control my environment.  I know who to hang out with and who not to for the next 10 days.

 

How does being overweight or sick diminish or detract from my happiness and ability to fulfil my life’s purpose? I am not overweight, but I do have as sniffle, the onset of a cold, feel sluggish and from consuming so much sugar from wine, I do feel like I am wearing a fat suit as the fat cells multiply and do their job in keeping the toxins away from my organs.  And when I feel that happen, I know I get annoyed, frustrated and grumpy.  And those feelings just transgress in to all areas of my thinking.  Not a good place.  But I am being honest in my answers.

 

However, the most interesting answer was to the first question.

 

Why am I doing it?  Why a detox, why a blood sugar solution plan?  Perhaps I started to watch the video on my youtube clip to lose the few pounds I put on in Africa, but those have gone already. So weight loss isn’t the reason.  Perhaps my interest in health and determination to get healthy for me, my sons, my future.  But I didn’t write that at all.

 

I wrote that I am doing it for a focus, a distraction.  To study and fill my head with other information, facts and to analyse the results.  And to have some control.  Control in a chaotic and crazy reality.

 

And that reminded me of a passage I once read from Mark Nepo’s book and I dug it out.  The general gist is that there is a grumpy, moaning apprentice.  The master asks the apprentice to put a scoop of salt in a glass of water and drink it.

 

‘How does it taste?’ the master asks.

‘Bitter,’ is the reply.

 

The master then asks the apprentice to put the same amount of salt in the lake and to take a drink from the lake.

 

‘How does it taste?’ the master asks.

‘Fresh,’ is the reply.

‘Can you taste the salt?’ inquires the master.

‘No.’

‘The pain of life is the pure salt; no more, no less.  The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same.  But the amount of bitterness we taste depends on the container we put the pain in.  So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is enlarge your sense of things….. stop being a glass.   Become a lake.”

 

In the last 3 months, I have diminished.  I have shrunk in all things and the pain intensified.  In going to Africa, I grew.  I saw life.  I saw myself again.  And my world and I became bigger.  And by doing this project, expanding my focus even more, I am diluting the pain.

 

So I come from the bottom of  an ocean to become an ocean.

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s