I saw a little video today with some tips. I love tips.
They are reminders of what I already know.
‘Even the tiniest step is progress.’ I got a few hours sleep. I got up. I got dressed. I drove. I am working on the eating thing. Solid food makes me gag.
‘You don’t have to have it all figured out to make progress.’ That is such a huge relief. My mind is exhausting and loud, debating and contradicting… Angry yet forgiving…. hopeful but so empty and bereft.
‘New beginnings can feel like endings.’ Where I was once excited of blank pages and new starts, I am so scared of new beginnings. It means the fairy tale is over. I know I should see that means a new fairy tale is about to start. But I like my old torn and tattered, well read, loved one. A new one is scary to open.
‘Believe what your heart tells you, not what others say.’ Everyone has an opinion. I have many opinions. My heart is broken in to 2. Maybe more… they all have opinons … I have no idea which one to feel or believe or to follow.
‘Stop overthinking, whatever happens, happens.’ Yes it does. I will continue to take it moment to moment.
‘If it is meant to be, it will happen, at the right time, at the right place, for the right reasons.’ I can accept that for the future. But what about what has just happened? What are the right reasons for this? Is it ‘right’? It feels so … wrong.
‘Your best is yet to come.’ I look forward to that time. I keep faith that this is true.
And as the boys and I, with friends walk, talk and play around a beautiful, Yorkshire Aboretum in the Autumn, I am reminded clearly of a picture I saw today also with a phrase :
‘The trees are about to show you just how beautiful letting go can be’.