I saw a little video today with some tips.  I love tips.

 

They are reminders of what I already know.

 

‘Even the tiniest step is progress.’  I got a few hours sleep.  I got up.  I got dressed.  I drove.  I am working on the eating thing.  Solid food makes me gag.

 

‘You don’t have to have it all figured out to make progress.’  That is such a huge relief.  My mind is exhausting and loud, debating and contradicting… Angry yet forgiving…. hopeful but so empty and bereft.

 

‘New beginnings can feel like endings.’  Where I was once excited of blank pages and new starts, I am so scared of new beginnings. It means the fairy tale is over.    I know I should see that means a new fairy tale is about to start.  But I like my old torn and tattered, well read, loved one.  A new one is scary to open.

 

‘Believe what your heart tells you, not what others say.’  Everyone has an opinion.  I have many opinions.  My heart is broken in to 2.  Maybe more… they all have opinons … I have no idea which one to feel or believe or to follow.

 

‘Stop overthinking, whatever happens, happens.’  Yes it does.  I will continue to take it moment to moment.

 

‘If it is meant to be, it will happen, at the right time, at the right place, for the right reasons.’  I can accept that for the future.  But what about what has just happened?  What are the right reasons for this?  Is it ‘right’?  It feels so … wrong.

 

‘Your best is yet to come.’  I look forward to that time.  I keep faith that this is true.

 

And as the boys and I, with friends walk, talk and play around a beautiful, Yorkshire Aboretum in the Autumn, I am reminded clearly of a picture I saw today also with a phrase :

 

‘The trees are about to show you just how beautiful letting go can be’.