‘Why me’?

I woke up this morning feeling so disappointed… But I am going to bed tonight having felt a huge wave of gratitude this evening…
I was so disappointed to have woken up again this morning with the terrible stomach cramps that have given me such discomfort this week – a virus, a bug, at one point I thought anxiety… ? Who knows… ? But it meant I couldn’t compete in the Brownlee Tri that I have been so looking forward to.

But tonight, looking back, I know it’s my turn next year. And if I had been competing, I wouldn’t have been able to cheer on the Big Man, Willy wouldn’t have gotten his first test of a multiple sport event…. And I wouldn’t have got the amazing opportunity to speak, hug and take a selfie with my heroes… Such amazing athletes, so selfless with their time to speak to everyone.. Inspiring not only the next generation, but the current one and the previous one (ie me!).


Furthermore, if I had been competing, we would have been a family disconnected, no supporters, juggling boys and start times, school pick ups and mealtimes… Instead we celebrated family triumphs and treated ourselves to the BFG, popcorn and pizza. And while my tummy griped as I looked at my food, I had that overwhelming sense of love for my boys…. 
I heard this week that you can live in one of 3 modes: one of blame, one of justification or one of building.
Blame mode means you only look to others or things or events as the cause of your current moment of state. Usually causing anger, hate, frustration… The only antidote (in my opinion from experience) is forgiveness – for yourself and the person / event causing the negative feeling. And that’s just a simple choice. 
Justification mode means you have valid reasons based on events outside your control… Although, still finding excuses for your current situation. ‘The why me?’ question is a typical sign of this situation and I definitely said that this week with Tom and his head injury and again this morning… The antidote, I believe is to find the lesson in the experience. Tom hurting himself was just life teaching me to be ready for more of the same, how to prepare for it practically (the food bag!) and emotionally (he will be fine). The stomach bug / pulling out of the tri, a lesson that perhaps we are trying to do too much! 
And build mode – the place to be – learning, growing, building a life that you want, with the people you want to be with, in the places you want to be in, in the spirit and with the attitude that lends you to a high frequency, where life is easy, you are on purpose and loving life… 
The art of a successful life is to be aware of the mode you are in and to do what’s necessary to return to or remain in build mode. And you may have to weather a few storms to get there, and that’s where Jim Rohn comes in – it’s the set of your sail! 

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