On completing my year long blog, a friend contacted me an asked a question that I have been pondering since.

 

“What was it that helped transform lost and confused Ali from a year ago?”

 

I tried to think if there was one book, one technique or practice that I introduced that made the biggest difference.

 

I don’t think there really was;  there was a consistent willingness to learn, to improve, to work out what would help me through each stage and then implement the practice.

 

However, today I heard something that made me stop and think.

 

There is a perception that people make a change or they change over a period of time;  but really the decision to change, either yourself or your situation, happens in a moment.  A split second when you decide that the current situation you are in is not what you want and that you won’t tolerate it any more.

 

I couldn’t tolerate myself anymore.  The misery, the sadness, the anger, the constant and quite valid justification of my situation based on events out of my control constantly flowing through my mind, despite the ‘dance face’ I could put on.

 

I couldn’t tolerate my circumstances anymore.  The people pleaser, doing what everyone else wanted me to do, feeling how everyone else said I should feel… I couldn’t tolerate any more difficulties, hardships coming into my life.

 

So I gave myself space to change and to decide how I wanted to be and how I wanted to live my life. I stopped focussing on what was going wrong and started focussing on what needed to change and what needed to start going right.

 

And so I changed, in a moment.  I took responsibility for my life. My attitude.  My commitments. And that gave me the confidence to start living.  I took back my power and I started to believe.