Well. I wasn’t expecting snow. I wasn’t expecting snow at all, let alone a lot of snow. If I had known, I wouldn’t have taken James’ car this morning for the school runs… I did not do so well on the snow and ice (#porscheproblems).
It did mean that my plans for the day were slightly disrupted. But in a way, the disruptions were good. I had time for some reflection.
Since the call from my sister about Mum being in an end of life situation, it feels like I have had life on warp speed. I have been really good at living in the moment. However, a month on, it feels like just moments. A few moments. And yet at the same time, a lifetime ago with so much happening in between…
A lovely friend of mine shared that through reading my daily blogs, she had been inspired to pick up the #365dayblogchallenge also. To write. To share. And I am touched, honoured and also excited for her.
This experience, this journey started as a daily journal for myself. To reflect on the day. To think about what had happened, how I was feeling, what I learnt. A way to focus on the positives of the day and look at anything less than positive and work out the silver lining.
I have always had a monologue playing in my head. And this has been a wonderful way for me to get the noise out of my head on paper. By doing so, I have felt calmer, had more clarity, more focus. My self talk is hushed, well a little quieter.
The response I have had through publishing and baring my soul publicly has been totally unexpected and the words of support and often times, comfort has overwhelmed me with a feeling of … I don’t think there is a word. Pure emotion that gives you a warm glow inside… is it quiet pride? And if my words have helped someone in some way either from my experience or my response to a situation, then my heart skips a beat.
Those moments remind me of a quote I heard Oprah say today “You have to know what sparks the light in you, so you can illuminate the world”. It is becoming clear to me that writing sparks a light in me…
Today, in my period of quiet time after slip sliding my way home in an inch of snow and a sports car, I looked at the pile of letters I have received since the death of Mum. They sit on my kitchen table. In the sunlight. Waiting for me to respond to them, thank people for their kind words. I intend to respond to a few a day, no pressure… just to take the time to say an eventual thank you for the thoughts and prayers that helped me through a difficult time.
It was in that quiet period of reflection, that I went back and re-read the days and few weeks of a month ago. And I had forgotten so much… the mind is clever. It erases the difficult times, the tough times. Mother Nature’s clever coping mechanism.
In my quiet period of reflection, I was so grateful to myself for taking the time to write my thoughts and feelings daily… taking photos to commemorate those precious moments. To record how brave we were, how strong we were and how much love there was in room 40.
So I am excited for her…. And excited for anyone else inspired to start a daily journal, a daily blog… even if one or two sentences.
Maybe #365dayblogchallenge will go viral?
How amazing would that be? So many reflective, calmer people. People sharing their experiences to help others go through similar situations and help them respond in good ways.
Leaving a legacy for those yet to come, for children, generations, so that they see the real you, the real person. Leaving them so many life lessons that you may never get the chance to share with them.
My readings this week showed this card… so maybe… maybe..?