I am getting seriously annoyed with myself. I seem to be going through all the emotions under the line… Guilt and the grump today! 
So I decided to take action. I decided to ignore it and fake happy and positive.
I had to. I had to do that until I genuinely felt it! I couldn’t stand in front of 30 ten year olds without meaning the words I said, sharing the wonderful experiences of my life without authentic gratitude and positive attitude…
Spending time with Tom always helps – he is on half term already. He is always full of the joys… Excited and happy about everything… We worked through my list of things to do – he helped me put away the shopping delivery, make little Christmas goodie bags for all my top ordering clients – he told me I was being too generous! He took photos for social media and he emptied the dish washer while I made him a cup of earl grey (!)…
So by the time I realised I had forgotten to take the car to the garage for a service and was already running late for my class, I was in too good a mood to feel bad!
Today after I had shared my life journey and experience, the teacher invited me to stay and help facilitate the topic of the day – jobs and careers. We asked the children a couple of questions… 
What paid jobs can men do that women can’t and what jobs are there that women do that men can’t? 
What jobs at home do women do that men can’t and vice versa…
 In my mixed gender group, they declared that women can’t do heavy lifting jobs and that men can’t be beauticians… That daddy’s can’t cook.. But that mummy’s do most things at home… !!
However by the end of the discussion, the class agreed that anyone can do any job and can do anything they want, they just have to decide what it is they want to be! Then work out how to do it…
So as I drove home, I decided I wanted to be happy me 
again. So with my own advice to the children ringing in my ears, I decided I needed to work out what I needed to do to make me happy… 
And first I needed to understand what was making me feel unhappy so that I could address it… 
I have written a long list of unhappiness but against each point is an action to address it.
Scanning through my list One of the first things I wrote down was my ugly, post summer, hard skinned, dry flakey feet that have been neglected since the end of the flip flop season…
This is what I would call with my consultant hat on – ‘a quick win’… Something that can have a good impact without very little investment of time or money….
So I sat on a serious massage chair, having my feet pumiced and peeled, and polished…. I feel better not just because I have pretty toes… But the unpleasant task and amazing job has been done. By a man! 
What’s next on the unhappy list?!