Who was it who said, what goes up, must come down? I can’t remember? One of the great and wonderful philosophers…
My high of Wednesday was so stratospheric, that I must have lost oxygen to the brain, for I forgot that philosophy or law of physics and so the crash back to real life was rather an unpleasant one.
It started yesterday. The anxiety creeping in; settling around my temples, inching round my head and down my back. I have been avoiding it with distractions; reiki, cooking, running, cardio tennis, coffees and teas….
That anxiety is that little bit of my mind left, tugging my heart strings, reminding me of what happened last time I twirled around in joy. That anxiety filtering around the rest of my limbic brain to get ready for flight or fight mode, getting me in to the ‘ready’ position to react or respond to whatever is going to get thrown at me, while I am in my euphoric state.
Little warning events – the boys in a bus crash, my own near miss car crash, a rumour I reacted badly to – all tugging me further down to look at reality.
Part of my coursework was to look at perfection and progress and what they meant to me in my current moment, my current reality.
I am suspicious of perfect… it is usually a façade with hidden imperfections. And I have learnt that the true beauty of something or someone is in the imperfections, inviting intrigue, vulnerability and curiosity. That’s true beauty. For me anyway.
Perfect is quite possibly boring. Nothing to discuss, nothing to improve, nowhere for you eye to rest.
Whereas progress, it’s a journey: looking back there is accomplishment, fulfilment; looking forward, there is excitement, opportunity, no matter how far you look in either direction.
So, is my current reality perfect? No. But what about progress… my god, I, we have made progress. In one year, maybe more than some people do in a lifetime. Is there more to be had? Absolutely. Whatever the goal, whatever the dream, I am determined to enjoy the journey and keep picking myself back up, keep going and with each step be grateful I can.
The ups and downs are part of that journey; Isaac Newton was right… but also what goes down, can also bounce back up.