It’s one of those evenings when I sit and look at a blank sheet of paper, wondering which thoughts need to be written out and let go, which thoughts need to be written down and celebrated, which thoughts and memories of the day need to have a word of thanks to commemorate them.

 

And then I remember Brene Brown’s advice too; write the SFD (the shitty first draft) – the bits that need to be written down, warts and all and let go.  No matter how childish.

 

Tonight my SFD is really childish.  And I have probably taken it all a little too personally.  And I need to let it go so that we can enjoy what we have left of the evening.

 

I have accepted the apology – so why am I in a huff?  I am sure I am not the only wife sat waiting with a supper going dry in an oven on a Friday night, waiting for the diner to return from the pub after work? Sitting frustrated at the chaos caused and disruption to my carefully planned and timed evening to ensure we are fed well and the boys get an early night before another long day at Saturday school.

 

And in this scenario, I can hear Byron Katie in my ear, with one of the first questions of ‘the work’ you need to do when feeling angry, frustrated or negative judgements about someone. “Is the statement I am saying/believing about the situation absolutely true and can I know it to be true?”  Is it true that he was only thinking of himself and disregarding completely what may have been going on at home?

 

In asking that question, I know I am wrong. Because he was thinking of our future, meeting a friend and bringing him to our home to discuss our options; our many options of what we can do with the many projects that we have and that sometimes overwhelm me!  He was thinking of our future, and that is more important than a dry roast chicken and the boys being 30 minutes late to bed….

 

SFD done. Huff disappearing.