The leak and the monkey have left me drained, as they always do. The result of constant battle in my head to seek positivity, good in between the negative weeds in mind and the consistent weight on my shoulders that I lug around.
But they are silent and transparent, so no one else can see or hear them. Just me. No one can see when they are present or when they have left. Perhaps only in my demeanour, my intolerance and lack of patience, over sensitivity, dark eyes and furrowed brow.
After 4 special days, the leak has diminished and the monkey on my back has slid away, only to peer at me every now and then.
I read a quote by Socrates today and it reminded me how grateful I am for the patience shown to me by the Big Man and how he softens the walls I put up between us. I am grateful for the friends who know and appreciate the walls I have built around myself to protect me from my own shame, but who love me enough, like my company enough to walk through them, climb over them or just smash them down to show me compassion and normality.
And particularly and most especially to those that cross continents to do so.