Montepuliciano strikes again.
Over wine and ‘too finger licking good’ ribs, the 3 of us debated a broad range of topics from social gender categorising, apartheid, roles of men and women in the current era. It was far from dry…. in discussion and the level of our wine in our glass.
With the silky wine flowing through my veins, the weight of the monkey on my back feels lighter. I hope I sleep again to find she is lighter still, perhaps gone tomorrow?
As I set challenges with paper aeroplanes and laps of the garden, I laughed and brought myself into the present moments. The silver strings attached to my past are tenuous, but always there. When I lack in sleep, the tension becomes weightier, a roadblock to my state of happiness and becomes a monkey on my back I carry around with me, whispering in my ear the words once written to inflict pain, and continue to do so.
Laughter and wine drowns out the whispers so I keep children, good friends and wine close until one day I can be brave enough to drop the monkey. For I know the monkey is just my protector and keeping me aware and enlightened. But she is also preventing me from truly letting go, releasing the breaks and speeding in to the future.
So why can’t I let her go?!!!!! Because I am just human…. as I have been reminded carefully, with love and gratefully acknowledged over tea this week.