If there was a day I would have liked to send myself back in time 9 months ago, today was the day.

 

I would have loved myself today to have been able to give hope and a stillness to my broken self of 9 months ago.

 

The blond, happy, joy-filled version of me quietly to sit on the bed next to the dark, lost version of me sharing my day to give hope and light.

 

Whispering to her, through her tears to tell her that she would feel peace, contentment and joy again; in the small moments as she prepared lunch, laying the table for her family on the sun drenched terrace;  as she listened to the wisdom of her mother in law, following her around the flower beds, a weed, a flower, to prune, to leave; as she unwrapped individual glasses and plates to put away in new cupboards alongside the Big Man;  as she glanced up to see her boys, happy, laughing, rolling on the lawns without a worry;  as she walked back from a quick local pub supper, unfinished glass of wine in hand to walk away with, with a wave and a smile by the local landlady ….

 

Perhaps my darker, melancholy self wouldn’t have believed it.

 

But perhaps she did hear the whispers, and she did feel the hope.

 

How else, would we have ever arrived here?

 

Either way, I am so happy we are here, right now.  Going further, doing more, being more than we ever thought possible.

 

This day, this moment, these moments make all the hardship, heartache, tears, worth it.