It was an interesting comment that stumbled in to my world today – ‘I am not sure of my purpose.’
I know I have felt the same in the past. Wondering what life was all about, what was the significance in my life, what was I meant to be doing, being… what would I leave behind in terms of a legacy?
The more I think about it, the quest for a purpose, the search for that significance is just as futile as the pursuit of happiness. You can’t find happiness, happiness is; happiness is a state of being, the only place you can look for it, discover it, is within.
I believe we can waste so much time trying to find or have a ‘purpose’, questioning it, when similarly, just like happiness, it can only be found from within. A true purpose, or calling, is something that makes you happy, makes your heart sing and you do whatever it is because you love to do it, regardless of the opinions of anyone or anything else. So therefore, isn’t everyone’s purpose, just to be happy? In this one life, this short time on earth, isn’t our reason for being to maximize happiness by doing what we love and being a person that you love to be?
I also believe so many people (me included), hold off, or hold back because they think their purpose needs to be so significant, so good, original, better than anyone else or touch so many people, that it frightens them, overwhelms them or feels impossible.
Our purpose is simple. Simple self-indulgence. Doing what you love doing or being as much as you can in the time you have available to you. Fill yourself up with joy so that you remain the happy, positive one in all other aspects of life. What better legacy to leave? What better example to leave our children and the generations to come?
Today, I ignored my little voice that berated me for my self-indulgent time today.
Today’s happiness came from watching the boys happy pootling off for ice creams on the boat with Grandpa, while I sat on the rocks with my own ice cream, a book, the sunshine… and took in all that was around me, letting my senses go to see, hear, feel, smell and taste and to write it down:
The echoing of the rippling lapping of the waves along the stony shore.
The twinkling of the dancing diamond light on the estuary..
The bellowing laughter of the seagulls at the musical jangling of the ropes and masts.
The soft gentle round hump of the land, bright spring green disappearing into the royal blue of the camel water, dotted with dancing and empty buoys.
The smell of ‘Padstow Perfume’ – diesel fumes of the ferry and the salty brown, sun dried seaweed. (knock yourself out Jo Malone!)
The featherlight wind on my warm cheeks and the unforgiving stone perfectly moulded to fit my seat – and support my tender back.
The excited cries of families tumbling down the slipway with their ice creams, prams, wet dogs and jack wills bags, Spider-Man wellies, converse and soft leather bowed tan shoes (!) and an army of sandy little feet.
The last lick and final crunch of super sweet, sticky, delicious Cornish strawberry cone and the cry “Welcome aboard the black tor ferry!”