Laughing at baboons

I have not laughed so much in a long time. Seeing the Big Man attempting hopscotch on a trampoline net 15m about the ground and Tom flying up 2 meters high next to him…. have you ever seen a baboon bounce? Today I did!
And the laughter was so needed. A welcome dousing of water on the fire of rage that had ignited earlier in the garage. 
Boxes and boxes of ‘stuff’ left unpacked and stored in the garage roof since we moved north from London. My delight at finding all my travel diaries and albums was short lived after finding the boxes of paraphernalia I kept. The boxes telling the story of the preparation of a fairy tale wedding, the letters of love, felicitations! and support from friends, ribbons samples, fabric swatches, magazine cut outs, draft invites… a day I thought so much about and planned with precision for the start of a future I dreamed so much of, held so special, so sacred in my heart. And my heart… my heart that had been healing, so elated after the recent news felt shattered at the thought of how little it all meant to him in one moment, in many moments and how much it had meant to me and the words of Esther Perez ringing in my ears ‘your first marriage is over.’
The laughter so needed to smooth over the harsh, hurtful words that unleashed from my mouth that devastated us both in equal measures. 
And laughter breeds more laughter and as we raced around the tree top nets, down the slides playing tig and hide and seek, the horrible memories of the past and garage boxes forgotten, now ready for the tip and the skip. 
Laughter is all I needed to bring me back to the present moment: laughter on a treetop net with a big baboon and little baboons…

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