I have been counting down the hours until I would feel a strong, experienced man’s hands on my body. He didn’t disappoint… and when he brought out his electrics, it was a blissful, exquisite pain.
When he told me I could double dose on Co-codomal and Ibuprofen and still drink wine tonight, I think I may have kissed him as I danced out of the room.
Is that a lightness in the voice in my head? Is that a welcome wry smile as I write those words?
As I drive to school, I am reminded that the path to happiness is simple. It is just a choice.
“Do you want to be happy or not?”
The answer is either yes or no. With no strings attached. No justification or qualification.
The answer isn’t – I will only be happy when my back pain goes or I will only be happy when I know I can trust the Big Man or I will only be happy when Willy is happy or I will only be happy when I have written my book or I will only be happy when I feel like seeing all my friends again without shame or dread.