I’m curious. Is there an International Men’s Day too? Or is IWD just another day another thing like ‘work life balance’ for women, mothers, girls to beat themselves up about? Especially if they feel like they have under achieved, or feel worthless, not enough or just have PMT today? Do men not need one? Is that because they believe in themselves, their in-built greatness radar developed already, or simply just don’t need to publicise how much they have done for society and the world already? If the female race want to be equals in society, why do they / we continue to come up with events or ways to differentiate ourselves on such a grand scale?
Those were the unhelpful, derogatory, pissy thoughts I was thinking as I lay under my 10 tog duvet and comforter at 1pm this afternoon. Feeling like crap because I hadn’t been able to accomplish #breakingbadhabits today. The weight of the black box heavy in my heart, like an anchor, tugging, reminding me it is still there. The mental strain and exhaustion to not open it, not relook through the photographic memories filed away under ‘danger – do not open’. The emotional turmoil and concerns for someone I love very much going through her own emotional rollercoaster, and feeling helpless, wordless, hopeless and distant.
But. But that was then. And I had set my alarm. My self pity alarm, my 54321 launch alarm. When I felt the pull of the bad habit, I was kind to myself. I know this is still early days. I gave myself permission to grieve, to feel the pain, the sadness, the tiredness, anger, frustration, loss, heaviness, unworthiness, etc etc.
Just as I was allowing myself those negative thoughts about IWD my alarm went off. And it was launch time!
It was time to ‘G’ up. It was time to get up, be grateful, grow, get my game plan in play and connect with someone in my trusted group of people who will support me.
And it was time to be gracious.
To show my respects to the women, celebrate and recognise the countless generations who stood up for progressive thinking, liberation, equality and ultimately gave me the ability to have the career I am proud of, rubbing shoulders in the board rooms and corridors of male and other female leaders in industry; the ability to start my own business alongside other entrepreneurs; the freedom to look after my children in my own way, to my values. To be grateful for the many men (and women) who have accepted me and treated me not as equals, but as an individual, with my own character, own thoughts and beliefs and passions, and listened and truly heard. And let me take action in my own way.
But more importantly, so much more importantly, to those women (and men) who have now given me the choice to do what I want, be who I am, without the pressure of society or tradition deciding for me and dictating my fate.
Thank you for allowing me to be a ‘Goddess’. The definition of which I found in the first page of my new book. To me this is International Goddess Day and in the theme of 2017’s theme of boldness, I fully embrace it.