Operation ‘Breaking Bad Habits’ has begun in earnest. #breakingbadhabits
As the boys left for school, there was no sneaking back under the inviting warmth of my fluffy 10 tog duvet and quilt. Breaking Bad habit #1.
Given the success of Breaking Bad habit #1, Breaking Bad habit #2 was easy. I didn’t fall back to sleep! I got dressed and had my breakfast, rather than missing it altogether and having it for lunch.
Breaking Bad habit #3 has been feeling sorry for myself for lack of purpose or drive, not knowing what to do with myself. So I got back to list making. 2 in fact. One with pleasant, little, easy things that I could tick off and make myself feel better. Not a chore list, but a list of enjoyable things to do, mainly people who I hadn’t responded to when they had been so kind to reach out.
The second, was My List, deserving of the capitals. My blank sheet of paper to fill with ‘the next chapter’ and ways to determine how I wanted to fill it. So that was easy too. I reminded myself of the quote ‘Do what brings you joy, so you can bring joy to others.’ And answered the question, ‘what brings me joy?’.
Breaking Bad habit #4 followed naturally; getting out of my head and doing, being and living! Because now I knew what I wanted to do and how I wanted to fill my day.
And here comes the beauty and the power of the Universe.
For I then noticed an unread email from school saying there was a cake stall for the next 3 days and all cakes welcome. One of my life’s little pleasures is baking and cooking. The kitchen smelled divine with the baking of brownies and I felt no guilt licking the spoon, the whisk and the bowl.
Ask and you shall receive. I love research, listening to great leaders, entrepreneurs, writers, thought leaders, spiritualists, health gurus, considering their messages, feeling inspired or intrigued to learn more and putting into action their methods, recording what happens. This was of course on my list and I received the best and most appropriate teacher for today on the latest podcast with Lewis Howes, Mel Robbins and her 5 second rule.
Her voice in my head as I ran (obvs another on my joy list, and #breakingbadhabit #4 get off my arse and out of the house).
“Break the habit cycle,” she opened. It couldn’t have been a more perfect listen as I pounded the paths, hid from the rain, felt the fat burn and the wind in my face.
“You can’t change your life in your head, only by taking action.” LOVE HER! She was my pep talk as I carried on, she was telling me I was on the right path.
She had worked out her formula for success after years of crippling self doubt, uncertainty and after becoming sick of hitting the snooze button every morning only to wake up to a failing marriage, piling debt and dwindling career. It came to her in a moment of watching an advert with a rocket launching into orbit. She knew she had to launch herself back in to life. But she also knew she didn’t feel like it, she was afraid and uncertain of what was going to happen.
And this is where her research and book is fascinating. She started her 5 second rule the next day, not understanding why it worked. But by counting 54321 LAUNCH, just like the rocket, she accomplished so much and turned her life around. She stopped the procrastination, the hesitation and leant in to what she was resisting by doing it. She pushed herself by taking control of her thoughts and therefore changed her behaviours.
Neuroscientists have confirmed that decisions are made with 95% feeling. Feeling! How you feel in the moment, not with motivation from goals or determination with logic. Feeling. We won’t ever feel ready to do something scary or different or challenging, so she is right; you have to change your thoughts and behaviours and only then can you change your feeling. That is when the confidence comes, not from personality, not from a state of belief, but from the willingness to try over and over again whether you fail or not.
This morning, I launched myself out of bed without even knowing the 5 second rule. I threw myself in to action and my self esteem has sky rocketed! I am on the way to finding Ali again. She is a new version. A stronger version. I can see her, she is emerging, she has a plan and a willingness to try, regardless of success.