Today made me think about unconditional love. What is it? Literally, to love without condition or limits.
For me, I always felt it was to put someone else’s life, happiness, well being before my own. To throw myself in front of a bus, to save the loves of my life without a second thought for the loss of my own.
I learnt that definition of unconditional love from the love I felt from my Mumbo, the love of a mother for a child. I cannot believe it is almost a year that I have lived without it. And I have survived it; my own ‘annus horribilis’. That’s not to say I haven’t had love.. I survived with love; feeling love from so many others and giving love. Giving unconditional love.
I realised today that giving unconditional love comes in many forms.
The small things – from spending nearly 3 hours hitting redial every 3 seconds to get through to a gymnastics class for Willy, and finding it fully booked; to driving 45 minutes both ways in rush hour for a 2 minute conversation with a paediatric surgeon, to say no operation required until the infection is unbearable.
To the big things – to allowing my heart to overrule my head. My head ‘detoxed’ of the toxic voices, thoughts and words, now finally quiet enough for it to hear my heart asking, pleading to be healed. Unconditional love for another allowing my heart to love fearlessly and courageously, so that it can mend. The hate I felt during the detox left me devoid of joy and lead me off course in the pursuit of happiness.
Unconditional love has let my heart overrule my head and open my mind to see a man with a good heart, but an imperfect human, flawed as we all are, with the ability to make mistakes.
Unconditional love for myself and the work I did to ‘love me’ with Dr Hamilton over the summer laid the ground work for me to be strong enough, respectful of myself enough, open minded enough to remove my blinkers and most importantly full of compassion to see the truth.