And tonight, I am back to calm.  Slept most of the morning after a restless, sleepless night.  In the afternoon, went for an autumnal, riverside walk and then chilled with my smiley, happy, brave, stupid, gorgeous son who teaches so much about letting go of the past and living in the moment.   I lap up the special time with him and absorb his positivity and affection.

And right now, I have quietened my mind, numbed my senses with red wine and dark chocolate brought round by the Big Man.  Listened to him with an open mind and an open heart.

And that is all I can do for now, for the moment.