One of the most powerful visualisations I have ever had was a guided one by Dr Ro. A very clear vision of myself in 30 years, white haired, still short, long floaty white dress beckoning me to come and see my future.
She showed me a couple standing and holding hands, leaning in to each other, on a veranda, overlooking a beautiful garden, rolling down to an expanse of water. The sun shining, a party in full swing, laughter and music. My boys grown tall, playing with their children – girls in pretty dresses as it happened.
It wasn’t only just what she showed me but what I felt. Peace. Calm. Confidence. Love. And my favourite – Joy. It brought me unwavering faith and belief in my future and happiness.
At the time I didn’t know what was about to happen in my life. I didn’t know the rollercoaster and pressure – almost g-force – of the journey my life was about to take.
Pressure of any kind can cause cracks, breaks. In marriage, in love, in relationships, friendships, it is no different.
It is easy and quick to blame each other for the cracks, and keep applying the pressure until the cracks turn in to a spiders web and shatter.
Or you can look in the mirror. See the cracks. Be honest. And have the courage to take responsibility for your part in the cracks. Be brave to work hard to fix the cracks, reflect and start the healing process by giving more of what you want and what you blame the cracks for. Study the cracks, what can you hear? What lesson are they teaching you? By looking in the mirror, are you willing to put in the time, the effort, the work to repair the breaks. Are you willing to listen, hear and respond to perhaps hurtful truths and do something about it? Are you willing to show some humility and admit your faults? Are you willing to give, rather than expect?
Ultimately, the question is to ask yourself whether the mirror on the wall worth fighting for at all.
It takes courage to fix a mirror; the edges of the breaks are sharp but the pain and tears are part of the lesson, a reminder of how much love there is within.
It takes courage to really look in the mirror and to look at it long and hard. And sometimes, for some, to know that it has shattered beyond repair, to have the courage to walk away.
A while ago now, our mirror was threatened by a sudden sharp application of pressure that made us open our eyes to the spiders web of small cracks, a mirror about to shatter.
Last night, I had a reminder of how far I, we, have come.
A perfect mirror to others is often not perfect; shiny, beautiful on the outside, superficial on the inside, weak so that one stone can shatter it with one hit.
A vintage mirror, faded, fixed and patched with glue, staples and tape through hard work, respect, mutual appreciation, love and an unwavering faith that the mirror was meant to stand the test of time, is unbreakable.
No matter if someone or something comes throwing stones.