Authenticity. How do you know if you are being authentic, how do you know if someone is showing you their authentic self? I always just took authenticity to be a deeper form of honesty, integrity and truth.
It was the chapter in my book today.. It explained authenticity as also being brave enough to show your vulnerabilities. But there is a fine line, a delicate balance between showing too much of one or the other; being too open and honest especially in certain circumstances or with certain people can leave you too ‘vulnerable’ to being taken advantage of or treated badly. But closing up, hiding your true self or feelings can lead to isolation, without anyone knowing to show compassion.
I have definitely taken steps to show my vulnerabilities and I have felt the compassion and I have healed through the love and kindness others have shown me, but also that I have shown myself.
And now I am working on being my authentic self, really working on what and who makes me tick. And not feeling embarrassed about my dreams, shrinking away when others share their less than positive opinions.
Every change starts with a small step… so I am changing the way I answer the universal question ‘how was your day, dear’ in the evening as the Big Man comes home, telling him a story that I think he wants or needs to hear, but telling him really how I honestly feel.
He is often tired from a day in the office, fulfilled, but tired. And I feel guilty that I have had a good day! Which is ridiculous when I write it out or say out loud. I feel I have to show compassion or sympathy by pointing out the tough bits in my day.
But today I was authentic. I lived the day as my authentic self, no apology, no guilt and I had a great day! A gorgeous morning chilling with the boys, enjoying their company, making their packed lunches before walking in to our beautiful village to tennis camp. I spent the hours in between doing things I loved, researching how I can publish my book, growing my business by sharing the information on how others can also have days that they can say were magical; reading in the sunshine and running to music in the beautiful countryside surrounding our house. And then finally, picking up the boys again and being a Mum – cooking healthy meals, laughing with them, reading to them and now cuddling on the sofa before bed…
I had a great day! Why would I hide that? As the book said – if people don’t like your authentic self, they have no place in your life…
We all have a choice… to share our authentic selves, our vulnerabilities. We all have a choice how to live our days – in an office, in the garden, in the city or on a beach selling coconuts!