Hallmark days…

Hallmark days. Resist or embrace them.
Personally, I think that unless you can hand on heart say that you make the people in your life feel like it’s a hallmark day every day with the love and appreciation you give or show them, then these days are a wonderful opportunity to do just that. Go all out, over do it…. For when they aren’t there you wish you had.
And it hurts. 

The pain of the grief that they aren’t there.

The anger towards myself deflected on to others.

The guilt for lost opportunities. 
I am trying so hard to focus on my beautiful boys, their gorgeous cards, gifts and little pot plants. I am grateful that I have been blessed with the gift of motherhood and grateful for school and beavers for showing them how to show their appreciation and love today… 
Maybe it is because Mumbo’s death is still so recent, so raw that the negative feelings are pushing aside any positive ones i try to cling on to.
Maybe that’s why I am feeling up and down. Or particularly ‘volatile’ today.

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