Everything suggests there are moments, minutes left of the torture of watching mum slip away.
She is icy cold, greyish purple…
Her breathing is panting heavily, with big pauses.
I asked earlier if she would go tonight and if she was going to, then I would find a sweet in the car. There was one ‘tangtastic’ hidden in the crease of the leather seat. Stupid.
We are on the last podcast episode of ‘serial’, which has had us gripped and has helped pass the time. Does she want to find out if Adnam did it or not? 40 mins to go.
I have finished colouring my ‘lovebirds’…
Tomorrow is her wedding anniversary – 44 years of very happy marriage to her ‘Johnnie’. Is she waiting for her flowers and chocolates? It totally wouldn’t surprise me if this was her last act of love. 90 mins to go.
We don’t know whether to stay or go. Wait to hold her hand as she transitions… Or go to bed to get sleep in preparation for another day tomorrow…
Is she scared? Or tenacious?
Her hand is so cold.