Today…. 

So far so good!My visualisations and imagining of how my morning would play out has exceeded expectations…
I am sat with plenty of time in the station waiting room enjoying my F and U cappuccino … I am holding it near my nose as there is a bad smell … Not quite sure where it is emanating from but it is a delightful mix of ammonia, old cigarette ash and general uneasy…. 
Despite a night peppered with disruption – bouts of unstoppable coughing, a wet bed, a nightmare, an ‘I can’t sleep’ and ‘I hurt my elbow’ – and an early wakening by drawers slamming from Tom’s room – I don’t feel too bad. 
I had imagined a smooth morning with showers and breakfasts without fuss and in the car at 7.15. It was reality.
I had imagined a smooth journey into school, with light traffic, easy to park, and teachers at school to allow me to nip off before the allotted 8am start. It was reality.
I imagined a car park full of spaces and a close walk to the station. It was reality.
I imagined my hot coffee and delicious seed bar as a treat from F and U. It was a reality… Although not the seed bar as I can’t swallow … Shame.
I imagined my train pulling in on time, a window seat and a quiet carriage. It was a reality.. (In truth, I think the train was 30 secs delayed but I will let east coast off!)
So I am on the train and I am confident that the rest of the trip will go smoothly…. 
Thinking of Mum.. She is safely in her jewelled box… For the time being. I will deal with the situation in the moment…. 
*******

That was this morning…
Right now I am by the fire and enjoying the company of the big man and my best friend, my sister in law. I have had my make up done by my gorgeous niece and bathed my nephew… It was the medicine I needed after seeing mum.
I also have a large bottle of wine to go with my large bottle of cough mixture… I am hoping the concoction will know me out….
  

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