Today, someone held up a mirror to me, the person I am today, the one I am proud of and the person I have worked so hard to become, to like, to feel is enough.
I did not like the person they showed me. The me who is pushy, needy, controlling, boastful, superficial, unthinking, unkind, pretty horrible and I would even go as far as reading that I am pure evil. They showed me the person I believed I was and the reason why everything that happened, did happen.
Perceptions, words out of context, clouded by personal circumstances, distorted by pain and grief. I know how that can happen.
Whose mirror is the true reflection? The question has haunted me all day.
Who do I want to be? The one who can do better. Who can take the learnings from this and move forward.
I return to Marianne’s words – shift from fear to love.
I need to shift from the fear that everyone thinks that I am the person in the mirror, all the many virtual friends (apparently) who have unfriended me, blocked me and are sick of me. I need to return to see the reflection that I see, that many of my true physical and local friends know and see me as and that is the kind and loving person that I know I am.
But that isn’t as easy as I thought it would be.