Today, someone held up a mirror to me, the person I am today, the one I am proud of and the person I have worked so hard to become, to like, to feel is enough.

I did not like the person they showed me.  The me who is pushy, needy, controlling, boastful, superficial, unthinking, unkind, pretty horrible and I would even go as far as reading that I am pure evil. They showed me the person I believed I was and the reason why everything that happened, did happen.

Perceptions, words out of context, clouded by personal circumstances, distorted by pain and grief.  I know how that can happen.

Whose mirror is the true reflection?  The question has haunted me all day.

Who do I want to be?  The one who can do better.  Who can take the learnings from this and move forward.

I return to Marianne’s words – shift from fear to love.

I need to shift from the fear that everyone thinks that I am the person in the mirror, all the many virtual friends (apparently) who have unfriended me, blocked me and are sick of me.  I need to return to see the reflection that I see, that many of my true physical and local friends know and see me as and that is the kind and loving person that I know I am.

But that isn’t as easy as I thought it would be.