When I sit down to reflect on a day, there is an event I need to write about; or more often than not, it is a common theme, word or trend running through the day or my mind.
Today, it was my hashtag; the one I use frequently on my health coaching Instagram feed. #loveyourself
Recently, I have been finding this hard to do. And have hashtagged away through gritted teach, uncomfortably knowing that that is exactly what I need to do.
Loving yourself used to be a very strange concept for me; reflecting thoughts of vanity and arrogance. But my curiosity was aroused and through reading books and listening to thought leaders, my own perception of the topic has changed. Loving yourself to me now means being ‘in spirit’ with yourself; living your authentic self by doing what you really enjoy doing, surrounding yourself with people you really enjoy being with and not living a ‘false life’, so that you can actually love yourself for who you are. You are living ‘in the spirit’ with which you were born, rather than influenced into.
When you see someone who is truly living this way, they are inspirational. They are happy, they are passionate, they are energised. They are ‘in spirit’.
It dawns on me today that I found my #loveyourself hashtag had been sitting uncomfortably with me because I had been ‘out of spirit’ and out of sorts. I certainly haven’t been inspiring myself or loving myself.
But after a good night sleep and reclaiming my morning ritual and ceremony, I found myself reconnecting.
I am the first to slide out of bed and the arms of the Big Man; and I creep into each boys’ room and sit quietly with them, stroke their hair and count my blessings, put my lips to their brows and whisper quietly so they wake up gently, their arms clasping around my neck and pulling me closer. I connect with them; I connect with myself and live in those moments, for I know some day soon, they will be too big for morning cuddles with Mummy.
While they all rouse, I pad softly to the kitchen where I put on the kettle and set out my intention for the day, run through my top priorities and breathe for a few moments. And as the kettle whistles, I usually have company and the whirlwind of the day begins.
It is in the small rituals and habits we create through the day that we find mindfulness, connection and our true spirit. And I recognise that perhaps in the last few days, couple of weeks, I may have been performing the traditions, but missing the mindful connection to myself; overshadowed by tiredness, grief, anger or sadness.
But here I am, bouncing back with my super power and loving myself again.