In the last month, I feel that I have, that we have let go of so much and moved on, made so much progress.  And I made a commitment to my heart to allow it to breath itself full of oxygen, energy and give it a chance to love.

 

To do that my head had to play a huge part by turning around negativity, swishing away bad thoughts and memories.  However, in doing so, I feel that perhaps I am suppressing feelings that I want to share and give air to.  But instead, I am brushing everything under a metaphorical carpet in order to live in the moment, allow the heart to swell and positivity reign.

 

It’s working.  I am not falling down a negativity loop.  My heart is full and my face full of smiles.

 

And yet there is a little trigger of something and I lift a corner of the carpet and at the moment, it is enough to stop the smiles.  If I continue, what will happen in a few years and I lift it?  I am worried that the mountain of unprocessed feelings, of hurt and confusion will just be too much and shatter my happy heart.

 

Or maybe I am just overthinking this;  a long day travelling and drive late through the night coupled with rubbish back pain.  Maybe the back pain is from too much sweeping!?!

 

sweeping

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