In the last month, I feel that I have, that we have let go of so much and moved on, made so much progress. And I made a commitment to my heart to allow it to breath itself full of oxygen, energy and give it a chance to love.
To do that my head had to play a huge part by turning around negativity, swishing away bad thoughts and memories. However, in doing so, I feel that perhaps I am suppressing feelings that I want to share and give air to. But instead, I am brushing everything under a metaphorical carpet in order to live in the moment, allow the heart to swell and positivity reign.
It’s working. I am not falling down a negativity loop. My heart is full and my face full of smiles.
And yet there is a little trigger of something and I lift a corner of the carpet and at the moment, it is enough to stop the smiles. If I continue, what will happen in a few years and I lift it? I am worried that the mountain of unprocessed feelings, of hurt and confusion will just be too much and shatter my happy heart.
Or maybe I am just overthinking this; a long day travelling and drive late through the night coupled with rubbish back pain. Maybe the back pain is from too much sweeping!?!