Sirius Black in the fifth instalment of the Harry Potter series says to the young wizard himself – “We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are…”
My ears pricked up to those words as the Big Man lay softly snoring beside me last night.
There must be a theme, as I also started a new audiobook today as I did a school run to a potential new school, to fit with our new life chapter, ‘Light is the new Black” by Rebecca Campbell.
Living in the light or letting the light in…letting your light shine… The words remind me of another phrase; when something shatters, and you put it back together, it is the light that shines through the cracks that makes it beautiful.
So perhaps I owe life, recent events and current circumstances a nod of thanks. Our cup or bowl of life was beautiful but perhaps ‘full of shit’, being filled up without me knowing with lies and deceit, evil and unkindness. She shattered our bowl, perhaps, and more than likely, to break us, shatter us to the point it could never be put back together. But all she did was supercharge the emptying of all the crap, therefore giving us the opportunity to put it all back together free of darkness. And it feels that we are putting it back together in the most beautiful way, that embraces the cracks and holes and all the light it allows back in and through us.
The process has been enlightening and illuminated so much. Particularly the importance of simplicity, the little things and highlighted gratitude, appreciation and truth.
Today, I saw the light in the lined up hanging shirts and stack of t-shirts all neatly pressed, that I once swore I would never do again, but felt gratitude for being able to do today. It was in the overflowing bin, full of packaging from books sent to me in the post. It was seeing my white jeans, covered in mud splatter and grass stains as a reminder of the stunning walk in Yorkshire’s fields with a good friend. It was in the light of the boys’ blond hair and sparkling in their eyes as they told me what they liked and what they didn’t like about the prospective school they visited today. It was in the pride I felt as the Big Man kept his cool, spoke eloquently in response to finding out we had been brought to a meeting under false pretences, for the forth or fifth time.
Today, I could see the light at the end of the tunnel of this house buying process, one way, or another.