Yesterday, it was a ‘Margaret’ who made me laugh… and today it was ‘Margo’ who was the source of my strength.
And she has been that way for the last 4 weeks since she came in my life. Since first reading her words, summarising her advice on a successful marriage and concluding the fantastic article from the Huffington Post, I have done as she advised and read it daily as I clean my teeth. Each day I read something new, see it with fresh eyes and remind myself that relationships, marriage is something to be nurtured daily, tended to frequently just like a beautiful garden.
Those little daily tendencies, pleasantries, transparent honesty, appreciative acts, unprompted gestures all performed with genuine loving respect will keep the marriage alive, ‘weed’ free. Just as the daily absence of the same will allow the damaging nettles to sting you, the suffocating ivy to leave you breathless, bound and feeling trapped in something you no longer recognise.
Today, there were 2 of her points that stood out, “Have a life outside of each other, but share it through conversation” and ‘Both of you should assume it’s up to you so that you are both working on it.”
Diversity and differences make anything interesting, drives curiosity and excitement and in relationships allows the feeling of freedom. Being open and transparent breeds trust, the cornerstone for any relationship.
And if both of you are taking full and 100% responsibility, resentment has no place to grow; more importantly, in the tough times, even if one or both of you can’t give that much, you still have a fighting chance above zero of survival.
To survive the decades that every marriage believes they will withstand as they make those cherishing vows, Margo’s words should be required reading from the outset to keep them from being broken.