What is it they say to all super heroes as they realise their super powers?

 

“With great power, comes great responsibility.”

 

I sit here with all the power.  I hold all the cards.  I just don’t know how to play them.

 

Whatever I do, which ever choice, decision or path I take will have a bearing on 4 lives, 2 of the most important lives possible.  My decisions determine our fates.

 

It is a huge burden.  And the burden is mine.  The legacy mine.  Following choices inherited, not wanted.

 

I feel homeless.  No London home, no Yorkshire home.  My beautiful homes that I created as mine, now haunted, violated, tainted.  And I need to be free.  To live alone, live frugally, to know that I can.  So that if I decide I want to follow my heart, my head and my gut will be able to follow.  And the only way to do that is to prove my head right.  That I can build a life alone, look after my boys by myself.

 

I feel loveless.  So much love wasted.  So much love lost. Will I ever be able to trust that I am loved again?

 

Homeless and loveless… I have the power to resolve both.  In my hands.  With my heart.  Using my head.  Following the signs.

 

My reiki master saw 3 birds in my session today and a picnic blanket.  And perhaps they are giving me some guidance.  Or my inner self is the communicators of the spirit world.

 

The picnic blanket signifies a simple life; a joyful and tranquil domestic life.

 

The hummingbird signifies good luck is on its way; she signifies cheerfulness, joy in the world and grace and because of its quick motion, gets things done efficiently.  She signifies freedom.

 

The peacock signifies a rejuvenation, especially when feeling blue; it signifies walking tall and proud.  The alchemy peacock is a colourful transformation and a reminder that we can rise out of the darkest moments.

 

And the parrot!  The parrot is symbolic of truth telling and speaking from the heart.  He is a wise teacher of the power of words and can guide you in the power of communication and a reminder of the words you speak and the secret thoughts you carry.

 

To me they are all signposts.  My Inner parrot is already loudly telling me what I need to do, speaking the words of truth loudly, the facts that mean there is no going back, only forwards.   My hummingbird is researching and making plans to move things quickly so that I can get to my ‘picnic’ of a life, simple, rustic and free!  And at the end of that I can see my peacock..  I feel rejuvenated already just thinking about it.

 

I have the power.  And it is a responsibility.  And I will use this power to buy us all some time and freedom so we can hear the truth, away from noisy ghosts.