Vibrations & Dreams

I am feeling the good vibrations!

 

I am feeling myself lift on to higher frequencies…

 

My cheeks are aching from grinning… Bombing along the old routes and back roads that I know like the back of my hand, each bump, turn, lift and camber of the road.

 

I could be 17 again… off on every Friday, Saturday, Sunday and even weeknights during every school holiday to meet with the ‘Henley crowd’… in the Argyll, the Angel, the Little Angel… 3 Tonnes… our favourites would change based on who was working where.

 

Memories flooding my mind of so much laughter, so much cider and even more Pimms!  Friendships sealed forever.. no matter how far flung we are now…

 

When and why and how did I let life get so serious?

 

Today reminded me to let the serious go.  At 17, 18, 19.. life was fun, life was exciting, an exciting future ahead, daring to dream!  I was still working hard  – the serious stuff being A Levels and Uni, but there was always time for fun.. Always.

 

At 40, the serious stuff seems to creep in and take over – mortgages, bills, fees, sadness, grief, health, childcare but there are so many memories to be made, still an exciting future! So much more laughter to be there for the taking.

 

Last night before bed I read a chapter of my book… It talked of a trapped bird inside a room and it kept flying again and again at the glass window, trying to get out to the open space and sky he could see on the other side, trying hard and harder each time…

 

“It made me think of the way so may of us live our lives.  We can see what we want, and nearly kill ourselves trying to get it in a way that’s not working and nearly kill ourselves trying to get it in a way that’s not working.  Meanwhile, if we just stopped, got quiet for a minute or two and looked at things a little differently, we’d notice the door to what we want being held open for us by the nice lady in the bathrobe across the room.  Then all we’d have to do is fly through it.”

 

I have been the bird.  Frantic.  Knocking myself out, throwing myself harder and harder at anything offered to me.  Trying to get through the peace and freedom on the other side…

 

I am loving this time to reflect, in my old bed, my old bedroom where I used to daydream of my bright future.  I am the bird taking that moment or two to look at things differently.    I am taking off my blinkers to look for the lady in the bathrobe…

 

There are signs everywhere… as the boys slept on the way back from the wildlife park, the audiobook I was listening to was all about building self belief, self confidence… and those dreams again.  ‘Follow your bliss’… ‘Do what you love’…

 

So what is my dream now?  The audio suggested that I answer 3 questions:

  • What would you do if you could do anything?
  • What would you do if money didn’t need to be a consideration?
  • What would you do if you knew that success was guaranteed?

 

I am so lucky that so many of my dreams in this very bed as a young 17 year old girl came true, are true now… (one little dream is lying next to me now… )

 

As I fall asleep tonight, I will be considering those questions and letting my mind drift and dream, I will have my answer..

 

Big Boots

 

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