The great thing about a new day, is that it is a new beginning, a new opportunity to start again, forget the past and give yourself the chance to move forward.
Today, I gave myself permission to go back to basics. Strip away all the rules I lay down for myself, goals and targets I set myself and just see what was really important.
So what is important to me?
- My happiness, my health, the feeling that I am thriving, really thriving on life!
- Creating a environment where my boys (all 3) can be happy, healthy and feel like they are thriving!
- Keeping my little boys safe, fed and watered, while they can’t do that for themselves.
Anything else is just noise. And I have added a lot of noise over the years… both limitations on what I can do, drink, eat, say, think, see.. as well as setting myself high expectations and goals.
To get back on to a good frequency, out of the recent black hole and without overwhelming myself, simplicity is the way forward. So throughout the day I asked myself:
Is what I am doing or have planned to do, making me / or the boys happy?
Is what I am doing or have planned to do, making me / or the boys feel alive and thriving?
Is what I am doing or have planned to do, good for me / or the boys in the long term?
If the answer was yes… I carried on.
If the answer was no… I stopped doing it, unplanned it… and decided on what would make the answer into a yes.
I love a saying about a lotus flower that was part of my 2015 year vision board: ‘The lotus flower blooms from muddy waters’.
To make any flower bloom, you have to nourish it, nurture it, give it what it needs.
What I need, I realised, is just time to myself, time with my boys without the guilt or shame of feeling like I should be doing something else.
My two favourite nourishing moments, my ‘best bits’…
Taking Tom on an adventure… to get cake and sit by the river to eat it and asking him how he was feeling at the end of his first year at his new school, kicking the dense weeds below the wall we were sitting on, feeling the sun on our faces and giggling.
Allowing Willy to sleep on me, right now… he is overtired and can’t sleep. Stroking his soft hair, listening to his breathing slow and his little body relax, getting heavier on my legs until the peace and release spreads over his face.
A couple of ‘old rules’ broken with cake in the week and sleeping out of bed, but the overall reward of happiness through rebellion without chastising myself, is sweet, sweet food for the soul.
I can feel myself lifting up the frequency scale, the tingle of the lotus bud deep within.