I did write a blog yesterday. And I published it… But it is not showing online nor is the original in my notes – only the last sentence I decided not to copy and paste across.
Maybe it is a message – and I love messages from the universe. Forget yesterday. Not one to dwell on or remember…
I turned my back on all my responsibilities.
I turned off my phone.
I hid from life in the cinema.
And I am waking up in a modern, white, characterless room, with a beautiful a view across Leeds wondering what my next move is.
The quiet and calm and no pressure… No head noise … Time to think or not think…
Is one night away enough? Is two? I can see how dangerous the slippery slope to just running away can be…
I look at the photos and videos of my babies and I can’t imagine a life without them, so I know I will go back. The pull of the magnet of motherhood too strong.
But going back to face 5 against 1, the judgement and back to the washing… I am just not ready.