Brain Fog.

I nearly forgot to pick up Tom today.

I can’t believe I am writing that.

I nearly forgot to pick up Tom today.

I thought I was picking up Willy…

Was it just forgetfulness?

Was it just distraction, involved in doing something else?

Was it just confusion with car share changes?

Was it just confusion with Willy’s new clubs?

Was it just lack of realization of the time?

Was it due to sleep deprivation?

Was it due to brain fog?

Typically, the night before, I like to look through my diary for the following day and mentally review it to make sure it all works, fits in.. and find some time to find my 10 minutes, my breathing space, my admin…. For there is always admin when running a house and 2 children. By doing so, I cement the plan for the next day and I know what follows what, so I can be prepared, make sure I take everything I need for the day… know what to wear when I wake up.

I did that last night…

So what went wrong today?

Today I have momentary envy for my old single life with only me to look after, feed, exercise, clothe and satisfy. I know that if I had even one hour, or even half an hour of my old life, I would be lonely, unsatisfied…   but it was much simpler! I have to admit that!

It is quite nice to daydream of a full, uninterrupted night sleep – with no poorly children, or snoring husbands… but back in my single days, I was interrupted by the bus, the aeroplanes, the on-call phone by my bed…

It is quite nice to daydream of a single list of jobs to do just for me, or work…but back in my single days, it was all about me and there is so much more to be gained by doing more for others…

It is quite nice to daydream of a tidy room, tidy house or messy if I wanted it!… but back in my single days, I wasn’t really that tidy! And I like the homely chaos… (even if Mr OCD doesn’t)… it reminds me of all the people I have in my life..

It is quite nice to daydream of long lie-ins or hangover slobbing on the sofa… but back in my single days, my hangovers could last all day… whereas now, I have to get up, I have to eat, I have to go to rugby / football / make breakfast and those distractions help me shift my focus from my thumping head, lurching stomach..

So where am I going with this?

I have no idea.

I have brain fog.