There is nothing about this situation that is easy.
But the hardest has to be seeing those flying shards of glass pierce the hearts of the young and completely innocent. The ones from the mirror being shattered by the unexpected blow of a sledge hammer from out of the blue, from afar.
The ones that hit you are damaging and agonizingly destructive, but not anywhere close to the soul destroying, harrowing and totally unbearable dangerous splinters as they hit their mark on those you love the most, the ones you do anything, unconditionally to protect.
The slivers that hit my little one, hit hard and fast. His dramatic nature allowing his confusion and hurt to be displayed quickly, his wounds obvious and simple to tend to. Clear and truthful explanations: we love him, we love each other but have some adult issues that need time to be resolved. And that everything will be ok. No matter what.
But those that hit my sensitive, brave, big boy were almost invisible; long slivers, that imperceptibly, dangerously and quietly sank their way to pierce his resolve. His anguish, his pain and frustrated confusion demonstrated loudly with wailing and flailing, inconsolable until he is exhausted leaving him immobile, shivering and pale.
His wounds cannot be healed with the same verbal explanations, despite what the experts say. He just doesn’t understand. His security threatened, his certainty questioned.
I want to take his pain away, absorb it by wrapping myself around him and holding him tight and together.
I want to answer his questions on when it will be ok, but I can’t.
So I tell him what I do know, that with patience and time, we will both be ok, we will all be ok.
And the shards of the mirror will be gone. The scars healed and just reminders of how strong and brave we were and always will be.